


Sterek: Unexpected Passions

by caro_devss (tricksune)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bathroom Sex, Bottom!Stiles, Fatal Injuries, Floor Sex, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Loft Sex, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-01
Updated: 2013-10-01
Packaged: 2017-12-28 03:05:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/986919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tricksune/pseuds/caro_devss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Look, I know you probably have very strong intentions right now of murdering me and hiding the body, but I would really appreciate it here if you didn’t.”</p>
<p>No response. Just those bright red eyes staring back at me. </p>
<p>“Derek? I’m serious. I’m gonna be so pissed if you kill me.” God, I’m an idiot. The eyes start getting closer so I automatically start backing up. </p>
<p>“Please, let’s just talk about this… I would really like to keep all my limbs attached to my body here.”</p>
<p>Bump. There’s the wall. I feel my hands out behind me, trying to find a way around it as the eyes get closer. And closer. Until he gets close enough that I can see his face, hear his breathing, and smell his body. He steps right up in front of me, pinning me against the wall with his arms. He looks seriously pissed. </p>
<p>I didn’t anticipate what he said next.</p>
<p>“What are you doing to me.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sterek: Unexpected Passions

**Author's Note:**

> First fic guys! Sorry if the first bit is a little rocky, but I get a better feel for things very quickly in the story.

Stiles-

It’s been two fucked up years.

Fucked up, but not exactly horrible.

I could argue that having the mystical world of Lycanthropy become such a huge reality to me pretty much overnight screwed me over, seeing as I’m literally the only one now in my social group who lacks abilities of some sort. Meaning that I tend to be the one drawing the short straw in the Game of Luck more than anyone in the group. I mean yeah, I figure a lot of shit out before anyone else does. But by the time they actually stop and consider that maybe I have some pretty damn good instincts, I usually end up getting beaten up. Or paralyzed. Or kidnapped. Sometimes a combination of the three. On the other hand though, the whole thing gave me a whole new friend set. 

That’s really the only pro. But I can deal with that.

What I can’t deal with (and I can deal with A LOT) is sitting here in Derek’s loft watching Scott and Isaac ‘train’, when in actuality all they’re doing is rolling on the ground trying to break each other’s limbs and pretend they’re not fighting about Allison. We’ve all guessed for weeks that Isaac has liked her, but of course Scott and his thick skull didn’t notice until Danny pointed it out to him this week. I get that she’s hot, but I’ve had my sights set on Lydia since 3rd grade so I don’t really get the fuss. I really do wish things were working out with Lydia, but I feel like that ship sailed when she held her dying boyfriend and told him she loved him. Granted, he kind of came back to life right after but you get my point. Shit’s not gonna happen. 

Breaking out of my little ADD trance, I look up when I hear Isaac slam into the wall behind me. How Derek never gets noise complaints from anyone else in the building I’ll never understand. Scott stands in the center of the room fuming, and looking back I can see Isaac’s shoulder is dislocated. So much for the rest of training. Isaac hobbles over to Scott and Derek, looking pathetically childish holding his elbow and staring at the ground. I sort of feel bad for him, but then I remember that their fighting was seriously annoying me. It reminded me of my pathetic lack of a love life. I dig through my backpack, put on my headphones, and close my eyes.

Seven songs later, I wake up to a face full of concrete. I look up from my awkward face-down position to see Derek walking away from me and towards the window. That douchebag.

“What the hell Derek. What. The. Hell.”

Derek doesn’t even look back. “You were drooling on my couch.”

“And that gives you an excuse to practically break my nose?”

“Yes.”

I look over at him and see immediately that something was up. He was squatting, resting ass to heels. Not only that but he held his head in his hands, tilted down to the floor. You would be hard pressed to find Derek doing something other than pacing, standing completely straight or sleeping, so instantly I changed my tone.

“What’s wrong with you?”

This time Derek turned his head to look at me. “You don’t need to know. But you do need to leave. Scott and Isaac left over twenty minutes ago.”

I look down at my phone. Shit. I should have been home by now, I had homework to do. I grabbed my backpack and started to walk out the door, but something made me look back at Derek. He was watching me, but the look on his face seemed almost sad. He turned away quickly, but I knew I couldn’t leave him like this. I walked back in, sat back on the couch and regretted it instantly when I felt my butt get wet with my spit. Shuddering a little, I turned my attention to Derek and watched with surprise as the look on his face changed from sad to confused to curious in about 2 seconds. I really had no idea what to say, so I basically sat and stared at him for a good 20 seconds before he started to talk.

“Why are you staring at me.”

Really inventive there Derek. He didn’t even phrase it as a question, simply a statement that he suspected would give him the immediate results of me looking away like it would with his pack. 

Unfortunately for him, I once stared at a wall for over five minutes straight without blinking. “Your moodiness is pissing me off today.”

He was up and in my face in half a second, eyes flashing red in an obvious effort to intimidate me. 

“Is it Stiles? Good.”

He put his forearm up and pushed me back into the couch while his teeth slowly inched their way out over his bottom lip.

“Because I really care about your opinion right now.”

He was so close I could feel the heat emanating from his skin and feel his breath on my face. I stared into his eyes, showing him that he wasn’t having an effect on me, when suddenly I felt something strange in my stomach. A warm sensation flooded my abdomen and caused my breath to hitch. I know this feeling all too well. What I don’t know is why I’m feeling it right now, or why I feel it slowly creeping down my abdomen and into where I shouldn’t be feeling anything at all currently. 

What the fuck. 

Apparently my confusion could be read all over my face, because Derek began giving me a quizzical look and pulled his arm back just a little. Not enough for me to get out, but enough for him to be out of my face and free to look around. Which is when he noticed my arms crossed oddly across my lap to cover my ‘situation’. 

That’s it, I’m dead. There’s no way Derek will just let this slide unnoticed. He grabbed my arms and separated them, revealing my very obvious and very, very, very unexpected arousal. I closed my eyes, preparing for claws to enter my body at any second.

I don’t feel claws. I feel fingers, tracing down my cheek. 

What the hell?

I open my eyes to see Derek slowly lick his bottom lip as his fingers make their way to the bottom of my chin. There’s the sensation again. My every nerve is on high alert as I watch his fingers complete their journey and start a new one down my chest. My whole body shudders. What the fuck is happening to me? I close my eyes again and feel myself lean into him involuntarily, feeling a need for his fingers to be everywhere on me. He pulls his hand away at my movement. I open my eyes and see him shake his head as if to snap out of a daydream and stand up quickly, briskly walking across the room and into his bedroom, shutting the door.

I give my heartbeat a chance to slow down before I stand up and start to leave. My thoughts are a mess. Derek Hale just turned me on. Why the fuck did that turn me on. I suddenly stop walking a few feet from my Jeep. Shit. What if he tells someone about it? Then I remembered he didn’t exactly drop and play dead about it. He purposefully made it about ten times worse. I’m fairly certain he won’t bring it up to anyone, so I get in my Jeep and drive home, blaring the radio to tune out the thoughts in my head of Derek’s advances.

********************************************

Derek-

He looks peaceful when he sleeps. It’s a big contrast to his usual loud-mouthed say-whatever-the-hell-I-want self. I can’t help but wonder what he’s dreaming about as I watch him turn over and start to snore. 

Oh well, there goes that image.

I jump down from his roof with ease and start to walk home, shrugging my leather jacket tighter to break some of the chill. It shouldn’t be this cold yet, but the cold helps me clear my mind so I really don’t mind all that much.

I honest to God have no idea why I came all the way out here; it’s not like Stiles has ever peaked my interest before. After today’s events on the couch though it’s all I can do to not think about him. Seeing him get aroused shook something in me, something deep and foreign. I barely even remember touching him, it just happened. It felt like a need, something I couldn’t resist doing even if I wanted to. 

Did I want to? 

I shake the idea out of my head before I could supply an answer. Don’t even think like that Derek. I keep walking and try to vacate all thoughts of Stiles Stilinski from my head.

Stiles-

School feels weird today. 

Granted, it feels weird every fucking day, mainly because I hate absolutely everything about it, but today is worse than usual. 

Luckily it goes by pretty quick with no tests and two movies, and by my free period at the end of the day I am out of the school and home in all of four minutes. I really probably shouldn’t have broken five separate traffic laws to do so, but I know where most of the cop cars are stationed thanks to Papa Sheriff so I’ve centered my daily route around that. Getting in my room I throw my backpack on the ground and flop face first on the bed, reaching over to my bed stand to grab my bottle of Adderall. Oh, sweet holy relief. I pop two and roll over only to see a shadow move away from my window. 

Fucking werewolves. I’m too tired to get up and see who it was and I figure by the time I get over there they’ll already be a mile away so I shut my eyes. Almost immediately she’s there, watching movies with 8 year old me on her lap, no cancer and no worries of Alphas or Kanimas or Darachs.

I snort awake just as I fall asleep in the dream. Looking outside, it’s starting to get dark out. I check my phone as I wipe the drool from my chin and mentally slap myself when I realize that training started an hour ago. I know I don’t have to be there, but I want to be as prepared for things as humanly possible, seeing as I have little to no ways of protecting myself. 

Heh, humanly possible. I snort to myself at the pun. Well, better late than never I guess. I get up and run downstairs, check the fridge for some leftover pizza and read a note from Dad while cramming my mouth full of the chilled delicacy. 

“I won’t be home tonight, working on finishing up one of the murder cases. Left $20 on the table, get yourself a pizza. Love you.”

I look down at the half finished slice in my hand. Well, maybe not pizza. Japanese sounds pretty good. I grab my phone, the money, and my keys and head out the door to Derek’s.

I can hear the fighting all the way down the hall. I’m so completely serious about the lack of noise complaints from his neighbors. Right before opening the door everything I had pushed out of my mind about yesterday came back, full force. Oh hell, this was going to be weird. Nervously, I open the door and slide in. 

Scott has Isaac pinned struggling to the ground, his forearm on his neck using his body to keep the rest of him down. Derek looks up as Isaac flips Scott off of him and continues to try and win their little feud. I look right at Derek, and his eyes are stone cold as he looks right back at me. Who knows, maybe he’ll still kill me after all. Attempting to avoid getting smashed by the two boys, I make my way over to the couch that’s farthest away from Derek’s intense glowering and pretend to focus on the continuing wrestling match. My mind is racing as I look up out of the corner of my eye and I shiver slightly to see Derek’s eyes still on me. I take that as a confirmation that this will be my last day alive and try to relax as I sink into the couch and watch the training. 

When I wake up again it’s completely dark outside. You would think I’m an insomniac for how often I fall asleep during the day. Mentally berating myself for forgetting my Adderall, I let my eyes adjust to the darkness and realize that I’m still in Derek’s loft, at… 10:23pm, I confirm with my phone. Shit. Shit shit shit shit. I get up slowly so the blood doesn’t rush to my head and look around. With the window shades down, it’s completely dark in the loft. Except for the two glowing red eyes staring at me from the corner. 

Shittttt.

“Look, I know you probably have very strong intentions right now of murdering me and hiding the body, but I would really appreciate it here if you didn’t.”

No response. Just those bright red eyes staring back at me. 

“Derek? I’m serious. I’m gonna be so pissed if you kill me.” God, I’m an idiot. The eyes start getting closer so I automatically start backing up. 

“Please, let’s just talk about this… I would really like to keep all my limbs attached to my body here.”

Bump. There’s the wall. I feel my hands out behind me, trying to find a way around it as the eyes get closer. And closer. Until he gets close enough that I can see his face, hear his breathing, and smell his body. He steps right up in front of me, pinning me against the wall with his arms. He looks seriously pissed. 

I didn’t anticipate what he said next.

“What are you doing to me.”

I look up at him and see that he’s breathing heavily, studying every inch of my face as he waits for a response.

“I think I should be the one asking you that question Derek. What the hell was up with your little finger tease yesterday?”

That obviously pisses him off, because he shoves me against the wall harder and presses his arm against my throat. “You answer my questions. NOT the other way around.” He shoves me into the wall again and turns around, running his fingers through his thick black hair. 

He really has some sexy hair. Shit, what am I even thinking right now? He turns back around and looks me dead in the eye. 

“Why can’t I get you out of my head?”

Well, that took me by surprise.

I open my mouth to give him some smart-ass answer when suddenly he’s up on me again. This time he’s pinning me against the wall by holding my arms back and I can’t do anything to move. He shifts his gaze from my eyes slowly down my neck, ending at my chest. He trails his eyes back up slowly, his eyelids not fully open anymore. I inhale deeply as he slowly moves his head into the side of my neck, stopping just short of actually brushing it. I feel a tickle of air as he inhales my scent and all of a sudden the feeling is back, going down through my stomach and into my whole groin. I feel my pants getting tighter as my dick strains against the fabric, needing to be out. 

“Why can’t I stop myself from doing this?”

He rolls his hips into mine as he says it and I involuntarily gasp out a small moan when I feel the pressure of his solid erection grind against mine. 

“Or this…”

He traces the tip of his nose up my neck ever so slowly. His hot breath ghosting over my neck makes me rock my hips into his and tilt my head to give him full access. The feeling of his body against mine is absolutely intoxicating. What the hell am I doing? I’m so turned on that I don’t even care enough to answer. Rational Stiles is gone from my head. I’ve given myself over to this older werewolf, whose grip on my arms begins to slowly move up my biceps and back down my chest, fingertips tracing oh-so-gently right over my nipples, making my dick jump in my pants. He smiles at the small movement.

“You’re enjoying this. It took me all of twenty seconds to turn you completely on.”

He grinds his hips into me suddenly, and I gasp and let out a longer moan. He tilts his head as he hears the irrefutable need in my voice. 

“You want me.”

“Yes.” I look at him with hooded eyelids and start grinding my hips into his in a continuous motion. I watch him close his eyes and tilt his head back, taking in the feeling. He’s just as aroused as I am, I can tell from the noise he chokes out as our cocks rock together. I slip my hands from their positions at my sides and trace them up his hips, his abs, his chest. He inhales deeply as I start sliding my hands back down, gently circling his nipples and stopping just below his navel. I trace down each of his abs slowly. Right before I reached his pant line, he reaches around behind me, grabs my ass with both hands and lifts me off the floor just enough to walk me over to the couch. He throws me down on it and literally rips my shirt off while I remove his and fling it to the ground. He brings his body down so we each have one leg in between each other and our skin is flushed with the full contact. Resting on his forearms around my head, he looks me in the eyes with what can only be described as the look of an animal in heat.

“What do you want from me Stiles.”

That sentence alone sends chills through my whole body.

“Everything.” I whisper, and holy shit, my voice sounds completely wrecked.

He smiles like that’s all the confirmation he needs, leans down, and presses his lips against mine with a passionate fervor. The feeling of arousal that floods my body is all consuming. I need Derek Hale, and I need him now. Grinding my hips into him, I wrap my arms around his shoulders and kiss him back with more conviction than I knew I had. He breaks the kiss and works his way down my face, kissing and nibbling down to my neck and I let out a guttural moan and start practically panting with pleasure. My hands work their way down to his dick, and I start rubbing him through his jeans as he bites the soft spot straight below my chin. 

He stops and his jaw goes slack as I work his erection, letting his head rest on my shoulder as he lets out a long moan that barely sounds human. I work his button and zipper down, pulling his pants down past his ass and allowing his rock hard cock to spring free. He licks my hand for lubrication and I reach down and start sliding my slick hand up and down his erection, feeling it grow even longer in my grasp.

He struggles to remove my jeans in the throes of my hand job, but as soon as he does he moves my hand away and grinds our naked hips together. The feeling of his member throbbing against mine causes me to lose any control I thought I had left. I quickly flip him under me, move down his body and get face to face with his cock. I look up at him to make sure he’s watching, and then I slowly take the head in, tracing circles on the tip with my tongue. He throws his head back with a growl and I take the whole thing in in one smooth motion, breathing out so I could take his girth completely down. 

“Oh God… Stiles…” Derek pants as I start circling my whole tongue around his thick shaft. “You’re making me crazy.” He grabs my hair and starts moving my head in time with the throbbing in my dick. 

I feel him shudder as I hum around his full length. Before I know it I’m up in his masculine arms and he’s holding my erection, stroking me up and down and around and I’m leaning into him, rocking my hips into his body with every stroke. I moan involuntarily as the warmth begins intensifying and building, getting me closer and closer to what I know will be an earth-shattering release. 

“Derek, fuck, I’m gonna- oh FUCK.”

Derek brings his lips to mine again and his tongue invades my mouth, silencing my moans and feeding my desire even more. I start thrusting in his hand, but right as I feel myself nearing the brink of my first wave of pleasure he stops, keeping me from crashing. Every nerve in my body is burning for his touch as he grabs me by my ass, picks me up and walks me into his bedroom. We both fall on the bed as he rolls his hips into mine, and I arch my back involuntarily as he slowly starts kissing his way down my chest, taking care to gently lick and tug on each nipple before tracing his tongue down my abs, stopping just above my throbbing dick. 

I close my eyes to absorb every feeling as he traces his tongue in circles down the front of my hip, teasing me with every flick of his tongue. Without warning Derek completely takes me in, and I gasp at the feeling of his teeth lightly scraping my member as he pulls up and off. I feel his fingers working their way down, lightly rolling each ball as they continue down to my entrance. He inserts a single finger as I take in the foreign feeling of him slowly circling my muscle, letting it form around his continuous gentle stretching. I inhale sharply as he inserts a second finger, and soon a third, preparing me for his entry.

The feeling is indescribable. The slight burning pain of the stretch soon gets replaced by pulsating need, and shocks of my impending orgasm shoot through my nervous system with every curl of his fingers on my prostate. After my moaning turns into shouting he suddenly pulls out his fingers and flips me over. All I can think about is how much I need to feel him inside me right now. Nothing else matters in my head; my mind is focused on one thing and one thing only. Every muscle is pulsing, waiting in heated anticipation of him taking me. I feel him rub a hand up my bare back and back down.

“You make me so fucking horny Stiles. Fuck, how do you even... Do you want this?”

It’s all I can do to elicit a response. “So fucking badly.”

I feel his hands on my ass cheeks, moving them in anticipation for… oh FUCK. The tip of Derek’s slickly lubed dick slides through my entrance, and the feeling is so consuming and hot that I push back and his whole length slides completely in. Giving me a moment to stretch out completely, I shout out cusswords as he starts taking me, growling and moaning as he hits the bundle of immensely sensitive nerves deep inside me.

“Oh fuck Derek, yeah, keep- keep going. Just like that. Holy SHIT. Fuck Derek, deeper. Oh. My. God. Don’t fucking stop.”

At my encouragement he bends over me, holding me tight with an arm around my waist as he thrusts his length completely inside of me. His hand is suddenly on my dick, rubbing out my dick as he grunts, and I feel the buildup of warmth reaching its peak again, holding me right over the edge of coming apart in Derek’s arms. Three more strokes and I’m flying, my body crumbling and shaking as I’m wracked with wave after wave of white hot pleasure, white ropes shooting all over Derek’s hand. Seeing me orgasm switches something in him, as he starts growling and cussing as he thrusts as deep as he can go over and over, sending his own orgasm deep inside me as he shudders and holds me tighter, riding out the waves of his pleasure. 

Slowly he stops thrusting and lays me down, holding me from behind with our bodies still connected. I can’t stop panting for air yet, and he nuzzles his nose in my neck as he attempts to slow his breathing too.

Rational Stiles returns as I lay in the werewolf’s arms, endorphins swirling through my body.

What. The hell. Just happened.

I have never been so unable to resist an urge in my life. 

I just fucked Derek.

Derek Hale just fucked me.

And I loved every second of it.

My mind is a swirling mess as I get up, grab my clothes and hurry out of the loft. I shut the door quickly so I won’t be followed (hopefully) and practically run to my Jeep. I have to sit for a few minutes just to calm down enough to drive. My thoughts are crashing around my head like a derailed train, causing me to hold my head in my hands and do some deep breathing to relax. Why did I do all of that? Granted, I’ve thought about guys a few times before, but never like that. That was something different. Carnal, animalistic, pure sexual need. I couldn’t have resisted it if I tried.

I start my Jeep and look back up at the loft and shudder when I see two red eyes staring at me from the window. 

It wasn’t a shudder of fear.

I start to feel that feeling again, pinching deep inside me. Shifting into drive, I take off for home.

 

Mom is the focus of my dream tonight again. Except in this one she’s sick. Dad and I are at the hospital, saying our goodbyes again. She smiles gently and stares into my eyes as I look back into hers, bloodshot and tired and slowly closing. Tears are flowing down my face as I whisper “I love you” over and over, wishing it could bring her back as the monitor flatlines and wakes me up, still sobbing. I hate that dream so much. 

Looking at my phone, I see it’s only 3:15am so I roll over and attempt to control my emotions so I can sleep again. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder and I stiffen, fear taking over my whole body. 

“I’m not going to hurt you, Stiles.”

I recognize that voice. And that smell.

“Derek, what are you doing in my room at 3 in the morning?”

I turn my tear-streaked face to look over at him. He was sitting on the edge of my bed, taking off his shoes with one hand and holding my shoulder with the other. “And why are you taking off your shoes?”

“Just shut up Stiles.”

I feel him lift the covers and slide in bed behind me, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me to him. I stiffen at first, still feeling wary after the events of earlier in the night but as he nestled his nose into the side of my neck I melt and let my emotions get the best of me. He doesn’t say a word as I cry, just holds me close as sobs wrack my body and we drift off to sleep like that, warm and connected.

Derek-

I never thought I would feel so much for this kid. 

Of course I’ll never show it, but my heart hurts to watch him cry in his sleep. I don’t know what happened tonight, and I know I should give him some space after all of it, but I needed to figure out what’s going on with me. So here I sit again, perched outside Stiles’ window, watching him sleep. 

When he lets out a particularly loud sob I decide I can’t stay out here anymore. Quietly, I push his window up and enter the small opening as softly as I can. Once I have both feet on the ground, I slowly shut the window and walk over by his computer desk to watch him. He grabs a fistful of sheets and pulls them up right underneath his chin, and I watch a little drip of snot run down his nose. Leave it to Stiles to make snot look innocent and cute. 

After about fifteen minutes I hear his heartbeat start to accelerate, so I know he’ll be waking up soon. I scoot back into the corner and watch as he takes a deep breath of air and opens his eyes. He can’t see me in the darkness which I’m thankful for, but I can see him. I watch him check his phone and start crying harder but silently, no doubt for the benefit of his father. He’s always looking out for everyone around him, something I’ve admired about him since Day 1. 

He flips over and I watch as his body shakes with his silent sobs. Without thinking, I silently walk over and put my hand on the kid’s shoulder from behind. I feel his whole body stiffen as the smell of adrenaline floods his system. 

“I’m not going to hurt you, Stiles.”

“Derek, what are you doing in my room at 3 in the morning?”

I sit on the edge of his bed and begin to remove my shoes as he turns back to look at me.

“And why are you taking off your shoes?”

I finish with my second shoe. “Just shut up Stiles.”

I have no idea what I’m doing as I lift the covers from his bed and reach out for his body. Finding his midsection, I pull him back into me and fit our bodies completely together. He stiffens for a second, but I rest my face in his neck and almost immediately I felt him relax and begin to silently cry again. I hold him tight, comforting him through his sobs until I feel his heartbeat finally begin to slow and his breathing relax as he drifted back to sleep. 

Holding this crying boy wasn’t how I planned this thing to go, but the amount of emotion I felt at his pain was staggering. Laying here with him sleeping, I realize that I don’t really mind doing it. It feels right. I know that all I want to do is keep this vulnerable boy from feeling pain, and I’m going to do whatever I can to make him feel safe. I close my eyes and focus on the sound of his steady heartbeat as I drift out of consciousness and into a dreamless sleep.

Stiles-

The first thing I notice in the morning when I wake up is the immense amount of snot dripping down my face. Nice one Stiles. I grab a tissue and attempt to swipe at my face.

The second thing is the absence of Derek’s warm body pressing into my back.

I flip onto my back, feeling the space where he had been. Was that a dream? Did I imagine Derek Hale climbing into bed with me, holding me close, comforting me? 

I turn my head into the pillow where his had been laying and breathe in. Immediately the strong reassuring scent of Derek’s hair invades my senses. I breathe out in a sigh of relief.

Okay, so it did happen. Derek was here. I try and think back to everything that happened last night but the only things I can remember are the nightmare and Derek pulling me into him. I rub an arm over the spot where he held me. God that felt good. 

I sit up on the edge of my bed slowly, putting both feet on the ground. Upon feeling something cold touch my toes, I look down and see a familiar pair of boots set side by side on the ground. Why would Derek leave his shoes here? My question is answered as the familiar smell of eggs frying hit my nose. Holy shit, he’s still here. 

I pull a pair of shorts on over my boxers and slowly open my door. I realize there’s really no point trying to be quiet, seeing as he can probably hear my neighbor’s dog breathing right now. I open my door the rest of the way and walk down the stairs into the kitchen, holding my breath as I turn the corner. There’s Derek Hale, his back to me as he holds the frying pan in one hand and pops two slices of toast down with the other.

I head over to the table and sit down, waiting for him to say something. He continues to ignore me, finishing up the eggs and pulling the toast out onto a plate. Finally, he turns around and looks right at me.

We both stare in silence for a minute. My heart skips a beat as I watch him open his mouth to speak.

“You need to eat. Keep your strength up.”

I watched as he turned off the stove and started walking, passing me at the table and heading up the stairs. When I hear him enter my room I shift my gaze back over to the eggs and go slack-jawed. I get up and follow Derek up the stairs to my room. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, getting his shoes on in preparation to leave.

“Why did you do all of this?”

He stops tying his left shoe and looks up at me. “Don’t ask me questions right now Stiles. Seriously.”

I could see the confliction in his face. I walk over and sit next to him on the bed. He stiffens slightly as our arms brush. “You don’t get to leave without telling me what the hell this was all about. You fuck me, sneak into my room and sleep with me, then cook me goddamn breakfast in the morning and try and leave without saying more than 8 fucking words.” I was getting pissed now. “You don’t get to leave without giving me a reason.”

He turns to look at me and before I knew what was happening he pulled my face to his and kissed me, his lips forming around mine with an irrefutable need. I only hesitated a second before I was kissing him back, my hands finding their way to the back of his neck as I pulled him in closer and gently parted his lips with the tip of my tongue. His tongue slid past mine, and I began to kiss him more passionately than I had anyone else before. This feels so good, so right. I feel myself beginning to pull my body onto his when he slowly pulled his tongue back into his mouth and closed his lips, keeping them pressed to mine in one long, slow, emotional kiss. 

I felt him raise his hands to my face as he gently pulled his lips away and suddenly the pressure of his hands disappeared too. I slowly opened my eyes and peered across my room. He was gone, the breeze from the open window hitting my face, cooling me down from where his hot hands had just been. 

I fall back on my bed, letting my arms flop out to the sides as I slow my breathing down. Not exactly an answer to my question, but I’ll take it. I grin as I bring my hand up to my lips, tracing them in their smooth and swollen state. I don’t know what this broody man is doing to me, but I decide I like it. A lot. 

I get up and walk over to my window, closing my eyes to the breeze for a moment before I gently shut it and turn around to walk downstairs. I notice my legs shaking slightly and I grip the railing for some support, glad Derek’s breakfast was waiting for me downstairs. I mentally remember to thank him as I get a plate and sit down, losing myself in my thoughts.

Derek-

It’s been a few days since my last kiss with Stiles. I could still feel the way his lips fit on mine, the way he pulled me into him, desire practically seeping from his pores. I know that if I had stayed I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from pushing him back on the bed and ripping his clothes off, grazing my teeth along his smooth, pale skin… sucking his neck while he arches his body into mine, showing me his need for my touch… I shake my head. Focus Derek. This isn’t the time or the place. I take a perfectly timed step back as Isaac rams into Scott, pushing them both through the spot I had just been standing in. 

Stiles hasn’t shown up to training since that day. I pretend not to notice when Scott points it out but inside I feel worried. I figure he just needs time, but after the third day of no contact scenarios start running through my head. 

Stupid and unpractical scenarios, but still worrisome. 

I step forward without shifting my gaze as the younger betas roll on the ground behind me. I need to get Stiles and his intoxicating scent out of my head.

“Isaac, Scott. You’re done. Break it up.”

I look back at them and see that Isaac has Scott pinned under him. Well, that’s a surprise.

“Let him up Isaac. Training’s done for today. But good job, finally getting him under you.”

Apparently I spoke too soon. Isaac looked up with a grin, distracting himself while Scott grabbed his midsection and flipped him over. I let out a sigh as they dismount and stand up, joking and punching each other on the shoulders. I guess they were over the whole Allison drama. As they grabbed their stuff to leave I sit on the couch, letting myself finally relax after a grueling day. 

I close my eyes and tilt my head back. Feeling my hand out, I touch the part of the couch where Stiles was laying. Feelings and memories rush back as I recall all the events of that night. Him getting hard under my hips against the wall, the smell of his neck as I licked and kissed it… Laying him down on the couch, taking off out clothes like we couldn’t get naked fast enough. And oh fuck, the feeling of him sucking down my throbbing dick… I felt like I could come unhinged right there. I move my hand slowly down to the bulge beginning to grow in my jeans and start palming myself when suddenly I hear a quiet knock on the door.

I quickly cover my arousal with a pillow. Scott probably forgot his phone like usual.

“Come in.”

I look over as Stiles slips in the doorway and slides the door shut behind him, leaning against it as if for support. I watch him as he watches me, and I know I should probably say something to ease his nerves but all the worry I had been feeling the last few days catches up to me. I get up, quickly walk over to him and wrap him tightly in my arms.

“Um, Derek?”

I look down at his face and see the pain etched all over it. Shit. I release my grip and step backwards, then turn around and walk back to the window. I berate myself mentally as I hear his quiet footsteps approaching me. 

His hand reaches out to my arm and softly spins me around to face him. Surprisingly I see a genuine look of worry on his face.

“What is it?”

I shift my eyes to avoid his cinnamon brown gaze. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

He reaches his hand to my chin and pulls my face up so I’m looking at him.

“It’s me we’re talking about, Derek. You know there’s no need to be worried.” He pauses. “Well, actually there probably is a lot to be worried about, seeing as I’m really the only 100% human one in this group and I have a lot of clumsy tendan-“

His voice cuts short as I press my lips to his. A small moan escapes his throat as I grab his waist and pull him into me, our hips pressing into each other as I slowly run my tongue along his bottom lip. I feel that need I felt for him the first night everything happened begin to build in me again. Grasping him by his (thankfully longer now) hair I tilt his head to the side and run the tip of my tongue from his collarbone up to just under his earlobe, taking it in with my teeth and gently sucking on it as I feel his knees buckle slightly against my legs.

He lets out a deep, guttural moan and I’m gone, all self-control disappearing as I drop us both to the floor, too needy for his touch to even travel to the couch. He frantically grabs at my clothes like the hormone-ridden teenager he is while I rip his shirt and pants off, taking care not to ruin them like I did the last time. I gasp at the feeling of his naked skin against mine and I flip him under me, thrusting my hips into his and eliciting a gasped “Derek…” from him. This is going to be quick, I can tell. 

I keep rubbing our hips together, savoring the feeling of his throbbing dick growing larger against mine. I let out a growl and bring my hand down, working his dick up and down until I feel him shaking under me, panting “Derek please, oh fuck fuck FUCK!” Warm semen spreads up my chest and around my fingers as I feel the boy unraveling underneath me. His body jerks up with every delicious wave of his orgasm and I switch my hand onto my dick, pumping myself to his moans until my buildup reaches its peak and I explode, feeling wave after wave of sexual perfection flow through my whole body. 

Riding out the last of it I rest my body on this boy. I wrap him in my arms and he turns so I’m holding him from behind, chest to back. I run my fingers through his hair and inhale deeply. He smells so good, his musk an intoxicating aura completely surrounding him. He looks back at me and laughs.

“Did you just scent me?”

I look at him sheepishly and smile. “Maybe…”

He shakes his head slowly and smiles, reaching over to kiss me. The feeling of that kiss, so tender and appreciative, hits something inside me. “I want you Stiles. I need you.”

I look at him earnestly, searching his eyes for an answer.

“I never thought I would say this Derek, but you have me. You definitely have me.” He leans in to kiss me, and the feeling I have is perfection, absolute bliss. I don’t know how this all happened, but I know I can’t continue without Stiles being with me as mine. 

Stiles-

I wake up the next morning to four missed calls, three voicemails and about 13 unopened texts. Well, there goes my Jeep privileges for the next week. I sigh audibly and stretch my arms out over my head, feeling Derek’s grip subconsciously tighten around my waist as he sleeps. 

Somewhere in between the passionate floor sex and the steamy with-a-touch-of-rough wall sex last night, we made it to his bed. I roll over in his arms to face him and watch him sleep.

I’m not used to this side of Derek yet. The side of him that cares, that has emotions other than anger. I bring a hand up to his cheek, stroking his stubble as I watch the corner of his mouth inch up into a small half-smile. I run my fingertips softly across his cheek, his forehead, his nose, taking in everything about the relaxed, practically childlike demeanor he possesses in his sleep. It’s a huge contrast to Alpha Derek, with the safety of so many people and so much daunting responsibility placed on his shoulders, weighing him down.

I flip my hand over and run the soft back of my fingers down his jawline as he begins to stir. His face begins to darken almost immediately into the Derek mask as he slowly opens his eyes and looks at me. Before he says anything, I lean in and gently press my lips to his. 

He pulls away after a minute of the tender kiss, his face looking visibly more relaxed already. “Hey you.”

I smile and give him another small peck on the lips. “Good morning.”

I attempt to roll over, almost succeeding before I feel clawed fingers grab me and pull me back and Derek’s face in my neck, beginning to torture me with his carnal sucking and biting of my soft, sensitive skin. I smile and let my jaw open a little, letting out a moan and fisting Derek’s hair with my hand as he begins journeying downwards. I can totally get used to this. I smile again as I let myself over to the intense sexual cravings of my body and stop thinking about anything expect for the feeling of Derek’s lips doing their dirty work.

********************************************

Three weeks. It’s been three weeks of hot-as-hell quickies, secretive midnight sex, and hormonal teenage make-out sessions in the woods. Three weeks of Derek Hale, secretly sneaking into my house every night to hold me to his warm, sturdy chest as we both slept. Three weeks of perfection. 

I picture our last visit to a gorgeous little cave under a small waterfall in the woods. I remember how Derek’s skin practically glowed in the moonlight, water droplets beading down his bare chest as he walked over to me in the back of the cave. The shiver that went through my whole body, partly from the wind chilling my naked body but mostly from the animalistic way that he stared at me as he walked towards me. Him fucking my mouth with his tongue as he laid us both down and took me on the cave floor, howling at his release like he knew I loved to hear. 

I bring my bottom lip between my teeth and gently bite down as I go over the events again in my head. Without thinking I start moving my hand down between my legs, squeezing my thighs and palming my thickening dick through my jeans. I start getting a rhythm going, small squeeze, deep rub, big squeeze, until suddenly I feel a hand on my performing wrist and a growl at my throat. I speed up slightly, knowing full well who was on top of me and how he felt about me getting myself off without him. 

“You were…. watching me…. through my…. window… again… weren’t you…”

He growls at me to shut up.

I look at him through hooded eyelids as he sits back on my legs and watches me touch myself. I hear his breathing start to accelerate during as I let out a long, guttural moan. He leans down and unbuttons my pants, pulling them down and off with my boxers so he has full access to my now-throbbing-again dick. I watch as he lifts my right leg onto his shoulder and puts his face to my inner ankle, placing kisses and licks up the inside of my legs. Fuck. My hips are moving on their own accord as he reaches the hollow between my leg and groin, licking it in a circular motion that my hips begin to imitate. 

He looks up at me, head resting directly at the top of my thigh.

“Don’t.” lick. “You.” suck. “Ever.” bite. “Get.” 

Holy fuck. He slides his tongue up the base of my dick.

“Off.” He takes the tip in one small motion. “Without.” A hand grips my base. “Me.” I shudder as he licks my slit with the tip of his tongue. “Again.” He takes me down in one smooth movement and I apologize profusely in hushed moans over and over as he deep throats my growing girth in complete silence to avoid being caught. 

30 minutes and 2 orgasms later we both lay in my wrinkled sheets, wrapped in our thoughts as we hold each other our favorite way. I reach over his chest and grab his hand that had been bent up by his face.

I feel his other hand come down and start tracing my face, one finger dragging across my bottom lip as I gently nip at it. Looking up from my position on his chest, I watch him smile at the feeling. Seeing Derek smile has literally become one of my favorite things in the world. It’s such a rare occasion that he does. And it makes me feel like I have to record it somehow, keep it for proof to show him that he knows how to be happy during the times when he feels so low. 

I’ve almost completed cementing his smiling face into my memories when my vision begins to swirl. I abruptly throw off my covers and stand up, surprising Derek with the sudden detanglement of our bodies as I take two steps toward the bathroom and lose consciousness.

Derek-

I watch in slow motion as Stiles begins to drop to the floor. I’m at his side in a millisecond, his limp body caught in my arms before it has a chance to hit the ground. 

No. No no no no. I tune my hearing to listen for a breath, a heartbeat, anything to signal that the boy in my arms was still alive. I hear nothing. Bringing my mouth down to his, I fill his lungs with my air twice before beginning to pump his chest. 

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

He can’t die. I can’t lose one more person that I love in this fucked-up world.

Seven.

Eight.

Nine.

Ten.

I listen for something, for anything to show me he’ll be okay. Silence.

I hear the Sheriff start to wake up from his spot on the couch. He can’t find me here, over his son’s non-responsive body. I give Stiles two more lungfuls of air, push his bookcase over to sound like him falling, and climb out the window just as his father enters the room. 

I begin to shake as I sit outside on the roof, listening to everything that happens inside the room. The cry of fear that comes from his father as he figures out that Stiles isn’t breathing terrifies me. He calls an ambulance and I hear the thud. thud. thud. of his hands cracking Stiles’ ribcage, and he’s crying, muttering a prayer asking that God won’t take his son, not his son too. The complete terror in his voice cracks a wall inside me and I feel myself beginning to cry silently as the ambulance arrives and departs quickly, taking Stiles with it.

I arrive at the hospital before the ambulance and immediately detect Scott’s scent, coming from a door practically straight ahead. I’m no longer thinking clearly; my mind is a jumbled mess as I barge straight into the Physician break room and almost directly into Scott and Mrs. McCall. He stands up immediately as he sees the look on my face and I indistinctly hear words coming from my mouth in a voice I barely recognize as my own.

“Stiles… Sick… Something’s wrong… No pulse…”

I feel a quick breeze as him and his mother rush by me and out of the room, but I can’t seem to make myself move at all. I stand still, staring at the back wall for a few minutes until I regain a semi-understandable thought process and run out of the room towards Stiles’ scent.

Time passes by in slow motion. I’m sitting on the ground next to Scott in the waiting room, barely listening to him rambling as I remember the way Stiles’ hands feel on my face, the way his smile looks when he watches me, the tender way he kisses my lips whenever he thinks I’m sleeping. I run a hand over my face, tracing the last gentle touch he had given me before his heart stopped. I shake out of my trance when I hear Scott’s voice saying my name.

“Derek? Derek?”

I look over at him, my face a hollow shell. No anger, no sadness, nothing breaks through. His eyes widen when he sees the state I’m in and he repeats my name again, softer this time.

“Derek… I’m so scared… how do you make yourself not feel anything?”

I look at the tears running down his face and whisper back my answer.

“I’m terrified.”

He puts a reassuring arm around my shoulders without even asking why I care so much about his best friend and we both sit there, him crying in silence and me staring back at the wall as we wait for news.

Mrs. McCall comes into the waiting room about an hour later, clasping her hands together before she begins to talk.

“His heart stopped because of a cardiac embolism. A clot had formed in a blood vessel down in his right leg. It detached and traveled up to his heart, sticking in an intake vessel up there causing not enough blood to be brought into his heart, which then caused the cardiac arrest. He was lucky though. The clot was small enough that it was broken up within the first minute of CPR.” She smiles over at the Sheriff, who hadn’t left his seat by the door once. “His heart restarted in the ambulance when they shocked it, and once he got here we put him on an anti-coagulant to break down any remaining clots. His EEG showed normal brain function, and they’re estimating he’ll be awake within the hour. He’s going to be fine, guys.”

I sit completely still and watch Scott hug his mom, followed quickly by Stiles’ father. One of them asks hurriedly if they can see him, she nods and they quickly walk out the door after her. 

I go back to staring at the wall as I completely break down and cry.

I wait until later in the evening to go see him, after visiting hours were over and everyone went home. All of his friends had come over to see him- Isaac, Lydia, Allison, Danny- even Cora. Scott never left his side and neither did his father, until Scott’s mom pushed them all out with the promise of her constantly monitoring his heart rate through the night. I wait in the parking lot until the last of their cars had left and then silently walk up to Stiles’ window from the outside. My heart skips a beat as I look inside and see how frail he looks, shivering even with all of his blankets pulled up to his chin. It only takes a second before I open the window and enter his room, the strong smell of antiseptic hitting me like a brick as I step over to his bed and climb in beside him, taking care not to pull on any wires as I wrap my arms around him and hold him to me.

His shivering slows down as I hold him, giving him my body heat and taking away as much of his pain as I can with arms. I feel him begin to stir as I shudder slightly at his pain running through my veins. His eyes open sluggishly and look right at me. He smiles and reaches up a hand to wipe away a tear falling down my face.

“I’m sorry I scared you.”

His voice is raspy. I lean in to plant a soft kiss on his chapped lips. 

“Don’t you even try and feel bad for me. I’m just so happy you’re okay… I thought…” My voice hitches as the emotions close up in my throat. I start crying harder and he just kisses me over and over, reassuring me when it should be the other way around.

“I started pumping your chest…” I snort unceremoniously mid-sentence as I tried to control my crying. “…and breathing for you… but your dad started coming up so I had to go out the window…” I grab his face in my hands. “Don’t ever leave me Stiles. I love you.”

I stare at him, feeling more vulnerable than I ever had as I looked for a response in his eyes. He inhales sharply, eyes widening as he realizes what I just said. In an instant his lips find mine and he kisses me, so deeply and needy that I feel like I might melt right then and there. He finally breaks the kiss, and if it hadn’t been for my over-tuned wolf hearing I might not have heard him whisper “I love you too,” with parted lips softly brushing over my own. I pull him closer and lay my head in his neck, watching over him while he sleeps until finally I drift off to the steady sound of his heartbeat.

Stiles-

“Derek I swear to God if you don’t let me walk to the bathroom on my own this time I will kill you. Slowly. With one of Allison’s wolfsbane-laced daggers.”

He chuckles and kisses me square on the mouth before releasing his hold on me and allowing me to go do my business. Closing the door behind me, I step to the side and wait about four seconds before abruptly opening it, causing him to fall over from his leaning position against it.

I look down at him as he sheepishly smiles up at me, flashing all of his perfect white teeth, no doubt trying to dazzle me into submission. Not gonna work. 

“Derek. Out. NOW.”

He groans, mumbling something about humans being way too fragile physically AND mentally as he walks out and sits back on my bed. 

I walk over and sit on the shower bench, putting my head in my hands. Taking a few slow, deep breaths and closing my eyes I begin to calm myself down from the panic attack I could feel bubbling right below the surface. I hadn’t gotten one of these since a little after my mom died, but ever since my hospital trip I’ve been getting them a few times a week. 

Miraculously, they’re one of the few things that Derek hasn’t picked up on yet, and I’m doing my best to make sure he never does. He already worries about so much and I can’t even think about giving him one more thing to worry about. I take one last calming breath, flush the toilet, and walk back over to Derek. 

He’s lying on my bed, on his stomach with his head towards the top, fiddling with the remote for my fan. As quietly as I can I walk up to his feet and slowly crawl onto the bed and up his body, relaxing myself onto his back and nuzzling my nose into his neck. He lets out a small moan and turns his head to get me in his peripherals. 

“I could so easily fall asleep like this you know.”

I kiss his neck in agreement. Another moan.

“Or maybe not…”

He flips me over and brings his lips down to mine, and I mirror the motions his mouth is making perfectly. We’ve become so in-sync over the past month that it completely blows my mind. We’re like a well-oiled machine when it comes to sex, knowing exactly what the other person wants and how we can give it to them. 

There’s only one thing still bugging me as Derek’s tongue parts my lips. I pull back gently.

“Derek… when are we gonna tell people we’re together? I don’t want to secretly flirt at training and meetings anymore… I want to be open about this. At least with the rest of the pack.”

I feel him stiffen at his position in my neck. Shit. I shouldn’t have brought this up yet.

He brings his head up to look at me. “Stiles, I can’t. Not yet.”

I reach up and trace a finger down his face. He closes his eyes and leans into it, literally like a puppy. Why does he have to be so damn cute? I let out a sigh. 

“Why can’t you? Are you afraid of people knowing you love a guy?”

He shakes his head and gently bites the pad of my finger, attempting to distract me from the question no doubt. 

“Then why Derek?” I’m not giving up on this.

He exhales and looks right into my eyes. “They might not give me the same… respect anymore.”

I pull my hand away from his mouth immediately as he realizes what he said. ”Oh shit Stiles… shit… that’s not what I meant…”

I look up at him, vacating all emotions from my eyes that are beginning to tear up and try to push him off me. It’s like pushing a wall.

“What…why would you even say that?”

His eyes are huge as he reaches his hands down to my face. “Stiles, I didn’t mean it to sound like that… please, just let me explain. Please, I-“

“Just go Derek. GO.”

I feel a sharp pain in my still-healing ribs from the effort of trying to push him off of me and I let out a quiet gasp. He rolls off without even touching me but he’s on the ground at the edge of my bed and by my side in an instant, worry all over his face.

“Stiles are you okay? Shit. I’m so fucking sorry.”

I feel his hand gently touch my ribcage as he attempts to take the pain away but I push it off, wanting to feel everything right now. I look at him, my eyes tearing up again.

“Go. Please. I’m sorry I embarrass you so much.”

He looks at me with fear in his eyes. “You don’t embar-“ 

“I need to be alone. Get out.”

The look on his face right then almost crushes me to the ground, but I’m too sad and embarrassed to let him stay and try and fix this. I watch as he slowly walks over to the window and crawls out, glancing back at me one last time just as the first of many tears began rolling down my face. 

I get up and walk over, shutting the window and pulling down the shades. I realize that I probably should have given him a better chance to explain but I was beginning to feel the all-too-familiar panic start to bubble up in my chest and I couldn’t let him see me like this. Turning around, I sit on the ground, pulling my knees up to my chest as I begin to gasp for breath. 

Derek-

“I need to be alone. Get out.”

Those two words hit me like a kick to the stomach. I’ve gone and fucked up yet again the only good thing in my life. I turn around to the window and glance back at Stiles once more before I crouch out onto his roof. He’s starting to cry, and it takes everything in me to keep going and leave him alone. I sit with my back against the outside of his wall out of sight as he shuts the window. 

The sound of his crying completely breaks my heart. I feel numb as I drop down off of his roof and start walking without any thought of a destination.

I hadn’t meant for what I said to come out like it did. All I meant by it was that if they knew I was involved with someone, they would think I was unfocused and unfit to lead with such a huge part of my mind elsewhere. That I was weaker because I had something that could be used against me so potently as Stiles could. 

In absolutely no way did I mean that Stiles was an embarrassment or a burden, because he is the complete opposite of that to me. He focuses me, gives me a whole new perspective on things. He makes me a better person. I would have told him that if he had let me stay, but I know him enough to know that he wasn’t going to listen to anything I could have said right then. 

I close my eyes and stop as the familiar sound of dead leaves and cracking twigs from the woods reaches my ears. I’m going to fix this. I’m going to prove to him exactly how much he means to me. 

If only I had any idea how off the top of my head.

I start running back to my loft, letting all of my anger and sadness out with every leap into the dark streets ahead and slowly forming a plan with the crushed look on Stiles’ face as my motivation.

Stiles-

I haven’t seen Derek in four days. I really shouldn’t be intentionally skipping training like I am, because God knows I need all the help I can get defending myself, but I’m seriously not ready to face him again. Our last conversation still burns in my head as I shut the chemistry book I was attempting to read. I lay back on my bed and shut my eyes, trying to relax from the stress of the last few days.

For once it’s not my mom in my dreams. It’s Derek. We’re laying on his bed partly naked, and I’m lying on his chest, looking up into his eyes as he sleeps. 

I raise myself up to his chin and place a soft kiss on his jawline. He begins to stir under me as I bring my hand up to his perfect face, admiring everything about him. I feel him place two strong yet gentle fingers under my chin and pulls me up to his face and he’s kissing me, his lips slow and steady against mine as I let out a sigh into his mouth. 

He brings his other hand up and I feel him running his fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck. I moan involuntarily and lean into his hands, closing my eyes as I try and soak in this feeling that feels way more intensified than it would be in real life. 

I open my eyes to the complete darkness of my room. The feeling of Derek’s fingers in my hair is still so potent that I run my fingers over the same spots, trying to replicate the amazing way he made me feel. 

I let out an unnecessarily loud sigh. I really miss him.

I pull out my phone to text Scott, because I could seriously use a distraction right now. Apparently Scott is feeling the same way, because I have three missed calls and 9 texts from the kid. I open my messages and start reading.

7:41 SCOTT: Dude pick up

7:45 SCOTT: STILES ANSWER THE GODDAMN PHONE

7:48 SCOTT: Big fucking problem dude, pick the fuck up !!

8:01 SCOTT: Not even shitting with you right now

8:06 SCOTT: Stiles

8:11 SCOTT: STILES

8:33 SCOTT: Are you alive?

8:45 SCOTT: Ok I’m coming to pick you up.

9:02 SCOTT: Be there in 10

I look down at my phone. It’s 9:13. As if on cue, Scott barges in my door and tackles me to the ground in a poor attempt to stop his momentum. 

“Dude what the hell! I’ve been calling and texting for hours!”

I rub my shoulder that had taken the brunt of my fall and glare at him.

“Just fucking woke up Scott. Just fucking woke up.”

He flashes one of his patented my-skull-is-thicker-than-concrete looks at me. “Oh. Sorry bro.”

I roll my eyes and stand up. “What’s so important that you had to tackle me to the floor?”

“We think we figured something out about the Alphas, but we want you to come take a look at it and see if we were on the right track with it. You really have a knack for these things.”

“You’re just now figuring this out?” He rolls his eyes at me this time and I snort a little smile. It’s gone, however, with the premise of my next question. “And by we you mean…?”

‘Me, Isaac, Allison, Cora, Peter and Derek.”

My pulse begins to quicken, and Scott picks up on it right away, I can tell. 

“I’m sure whatever you guys found is right. And if it’s not, you can just text me the synopsis. But seriously dude, I’m tired. I need my beauty sleep.”

I let out a loud yawn to prove my point.

“You said you were just sleeping?”

Well shit.

“Yeah… well I need some more.”

“Suck it up Stiles. We need you there. Now are you gonna come with me willingly or am I gonna have to carry you out to my car?” He gives me one of his stupid lopsided grins and I roll my eyes again, but I follow him out to his car and try and control my rising heart rate. Something he, yet again, picks up on. Stupid wolf senses.

“Why are you so nervous?”

I look over at the dumbass I call my best friend in the driver’s seat. Wolf senses or not, he knows me well enough to know when I’m anxious.

I try and think of some acceptable excuse, but my mouth sort of just hangs open as I gape for words to say. Extremely unusually for him, Scott (thankfully) immediately backs off and sets his attention back to the dark road that would take us to Derek’s loft.

We arrive at the parking lot after about five minutes of road silence. Scott turns off the engine and gets out after I tell him I’ll be in in a few. He nods his head and starts walking towards the entrance to the stairwell. I need some time to control my heart rate, to shake out the feeling of panic from my system. Bring my knees to my chest. Inhale. Exhale. Inhaleee. Exhaleee. The blood stops rushing across my vision and I step out of the car, across the parking lot, and up the stairs to Derek’s door. One last deep breath before I open it and walk in, directly over to the table that everyone was standing at.

No one looks up as I walk in. No one but Derek. His green eyes look up and meet mine, and in that moment I thought I really could start crying again, but I hold myself together in front of everyone who could make fun of me for it. 

His eyes never leave mine as I approach the table, and before anyone even began filling me in on anything Derek walks right up to me and kisses me, hard, on the lips. I hear a few gasps from the others but in this moment I don’t care about them, I don’t care about anything except this man who takes everything, even apologies, to the fucking extremes, and God do I love him for it. My eyes close as he finishes the kiss and pulls away, way too quickly for the amount of lust I had subconsciously accumulated for him over these past few days. 

I open my eyes slowly and he’s back at his position at the table, studying something in a book as everyone directs their shocked glances directly at him, myself included. He looks up with those smoldering eyes and shifts his gaze to all of us around the semi-circle, completely speechless.

“Stiles and I are together. We have been for over a month now.”

He pauses and looks directly into my eyes.

“And I love him. If any of you have a problem with that, there’s the door.”

The silence continues for a minute until Scott speaks up.

“Well, I’ve known since your heart attack Stiles. He was wrecked over you in the waiting room, and I realized then that you two always smelled like each other too.” He slaps me on the back. “Congrats dude!”

I shrug and give him a punch on his shoulder and he punches me back, hard on my earlier-injured rotator cuff. I realize that was probably my fault.

Allison is the next to speak up. “As long as you’re happy Stiles, I’m good with it.” She gives one of her dazzling white smiles and I grin, and Isaac gives me a one-arm bear hug. I suck in a tiny breath and try to remember to tell him later that humans are a lot more fragile than he is. 

I smile and look over to see Peter and Cora talking to Derek. I can just barely make out Peter saying “if you’re happy, I’m happy…” and Derek nods, one of his rare grins spreading across his face. Cora walks over to me slowly, stopping just a little too close into my personal bubble space. 

“If you hurt my brother, I just want you to know that I’ll rip your throat out. With my teeth.”

I grin and pull her into a big hug, clearly making her uncomfortable but clearly not caring.

“You got that from him. Sounds more believable when he says it!”

I release her and give her a little tap on the nose.

“But I promise you I won’t hurt him. I promise.”

She nods her head to herself very slightly, and I take it as a sign that she believes me. I turn to see Derek watching me with a smirk. He walks over and pulls me to him and whispers in my ear.

“Does it really sound more believable when I say it? Because you know, I could always say it more often… Like in bed…”

I feel my dick twitch in my pants slightly as arousal pulls deep in my groin.

“Fucking tease.” I whisper in his ear, taking care to run the tip of my tongue up the side. I feel him shudder against me and I let out a completely un-manly giggle, but I can’t really care less right now. 

I look across the room as the commotion of Derek’s sudden announcement begins to slow down. “Hey Scott, what was it you guys found about the Alphas?”

He turns and looks at me. “Oh nothing man, I just needed an excuse to get you here. I was working in cahoots with Derek!” The way he winks at me as he says that makes it absolutely impossible for me to stay mad at him. I look up at Derek.

“You sneaky bastard!”

My hands reach up to his face and pull him down for another kiss, and I let my tongue run across his bottom lip before releasing my hold on his face and stepping back to his side with a devious smile on my face. I probably look like a fucking idiot but I don’t care. The look on his face is worth it as he leans over and whispers “fucking tease” right back at me and I reach over, grabbing his last two fingers with mine and standing next to him as the rest of the group came back to the table. 

Derek Hale, I’m so hopelessly head over heels for you.

********************************************

“Come on Derek, it’s Scott’s birthday… We just have to show up for an hour or two and socialize, then I promise we can leave. It won’t be that bad…”

He rolls over and takes my wrists in his hands and pins them above my head.

“It’s a birthday party. At a club. With a bunch of teenagers.” He lowers his body onto mine slowly, digging his hips forward when they touch mine. I groan, embarrassingly loudly.

“There’s gonna be…. AHH… booze…”

He runs his teeth up my neck and I grab on to his shoulder blades, pulling him on to me harder. 

“I can’t get drunk.”

“And cake…. I know you love cake…”

He stops licking my neck and looks up at me.

“Do I look like I eat cake?”

Point taken. “There will be steamy sex afterwards if you come…”

He tugs at my exposed nipple with his teeth and I gasp, arching my back up towards his mouth.

“There will be steamy sex afterwards either way.”

The motherfucker has a point. “How about this… You don’t come, and I withhold sex for a week.”

He sighs from his position above my navel and begins to unbutton my pants. “You couldn’t withhold sex from me for a day. You love it too much.” He runs his tongue down my happy trail. “You love me.”

I start to reply but my pants are suddenly around my knees and I’m gasping as he gently bites the inside of my thigh, sucking and licking and slowly, excruciatingly slowly, makes his way up to my hips. I know if he gets any further he’s going to prove himself very, very right so I grab his face with my hands and pull him up to me, planting a kiss on his soft lips.

“Nope. Not unless you come to the party.”

He rolls off of me and falls beside me on the bed, putting his face in his hands and letting out a huge groan.

“I’m not getting out of this, am I?

I grin and roll on top of him this time. “Nope. Don’t be such a sourwolf!”

He smiles and kisses me at the name, remembering back to the first time I used it on him. He doesn’t remember much of what happened right after, but unfortunately I still do. I pull him closer, and he gives me a soft kiss on the nose and promptly falls asleep under me.

Derek-

“I don’tt think youurr face is s’posed to look like thattt Derderr. I insticdidly rem’mber your nose being rightttt…. Thereee.” He points to my left cheek and makes a small circle with his finger.

“I don’t think you remember much of anything at this point Stiles.”

I probably should have cut him off three drinks ago, but if I had to sit through this thing I was at least going to have some fun with it. He looks at me with confusion in his eyes and begins poking my face again, and I have to pull his hand away before his finger drifts to my eyeball. 

“Come on, we have to get you home. I don’t want to have to carry you out of here.”

Although I really wouldn’t mind. Gives me a nice excuse to touch his butt.

Stiles suddenly grabs my hand. “No…. gotta better ideyuh… I-dee-yuh.” He works the word on his tongue before he looks up into my eyes and pulls me right up against his body and begins to kiss me, hard and passionate. I oblige, working my lips against his and tasting the rum as he runs a hand down my back, grabbing at my muscles and rocking his hips into mine. 

Fuck. He’s even sexy when he’s drunk. I let out a deep moan and grab his arm, leading him through the dance floor and into the men’s bathroom. 

We’re a mess of hands and bodies, grabbing and kissing and feeling each other up against the stall door. His hand reaches down and I feel his palm rubbing my dick, and I start getting harder as he whispers dirty shit in my ear.

“I wanna fuck you so fuckin bad… You don’t even know what you fucking do to me…”

I pin him against the wall with my hips and he groans, eyes widening as I lean into him and grab his ass, walking him into the stall and against the door. He grabs the top of the door with both hands as I work my hands down into his boxers, his eyes hooded as I start to rub his growing erection using his own pre-cum for lubrication. 

“Oh fuck… Derek, I need you inside of me. RIGHT NOW.”

The look on his face drives me fucking crazy, and he knows it. His pants are around his ankles in a second and I bend down and kneel in front of him, holding him in my hands and licking his slit like a lollipop. The noise that comes from his mouth is the hottest thing I’ve heard from him. Ever.

I palm myself through my jeans with one hand while I use the other to deepen the effects of the sucking and licking I’m doing on his throbbing cock. He tastes so fucking good in my mouth, but when I hear the noises he’s making I can’t help but give him what he wants. I use my free hand to unbutton my jeans and work them down to my knees, and I flip Stiles against the wall and take a second to admire his perfect little ass as I work a finger inside of him, then two, then three.

He’s thrusting against my fingers, and the feeling is so fucking hot that I pull my fingers out and hold him still as I slowly slide myself inside, past every pulsing muscle squeezing so tightly around my dick. The feeling is such an exquisite fullness that I just hold him from behind, the feeling too good to pull back out and start going.

“Derek, move, NOW.”

Fine by me. I start thrusting into him with everything I have, the sound of my efforts making the walls bang, bang, bang with every entry. He starts jacking himself off as I feel myself getting closer and closer to release, and finally I shudder against his body as I unravel in him, filling him up as I slow my thrusts in time with my orgasm. I lean over and start sucking on his neck as he finishes, yelling my name out to the thumping of the bass from the music outside. 

********************************************

I’m packing Stiles into the passenger seat of his Jeep as everyone starts leaving. Allison and Lydia come out first, linked at the arms. They’re stumbling and laughing at some inside joke as Isaac and Scott follow, with Scott actually up on Isaac’s shoulders like some sort chicken fight, minus the pool. 

“Yo Derek!” 

Scott effortlessly jumps down from Isaac’s shoulders and walks over.

“He ok?”

He nods his head over to Stiles, who is now examining his shoe. On his hand.

“Yeah, he’s just pretty drunk.”

“Obviously not drunk enough to not enjoy some hot bathroom sex!” He winks at me. “You forget that just because the rest of the club can’t hear “OH DEREK!” over the music doesn’t mean we can’t...” 

I give him what Stiles calls my “patented brood stare” and he punches me on the shoulder. 

“Lighten up Derek! You guys sounded like you were having a good time. That’s good! Now go enjoy each other some more, because if you stay here any longer it’s gonna look like you’re kidnapping him.”

He points over to a now-unconscious Stiles and I sigh, walking over to the driver’s side and getting in. 

Stiles-

I open my eyes to complete darkness. From the feel of Derek pressed against my side, I’m guessing that we’re back in his loft after the party. I detangle myself from his sleepy limbs and head off to the kitchen for some water and an ibuprofen to try and counteract the pounding headache I can feel beginning to form. I look across his dark living room and see a pair of glowing red eyes staring at me from the shadows, beside his bedroom door. 

“Derek, I’m too tired to play right now. I’ll be back in in a second.”

His eyes come closer and I frown, trying to show that I mean what I said. 

“Derek, seriously. I have a headache.”

His eyes pause and I hear the loft door slide open quickly, Derek’s eyes disappearing as he turns away and exits, closing the door behind him. What the hell? Why did he just leave?

My thoughts are interrupted as Derek’s bedroom door opens and I see him stumble out and yawn. He looks over at me, confusion developing at the fear starting to show across my face.

“Stiles? What’s going on?”

********************************************

“Derek, Derek- C’mon, they left already, you need to calm down…”

I’m holding the slowly shifting face of a werewolf in my hand, and I really have to calm him down before he completely shifts and storms out of here.

Pulling his face to mine, my lips find his in the darkness. His growing hair scratches my face but I deepen the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer. Suddenly, a sharp pain invades my hip as his elongating claws puncture my skin. I let out a cry of shock and pull away, putting a hand to my side and pulling it up covered in blood. 

Derek sees my blood and instantly starts shifting back to human, worry and anger at himself sketched all over his face.

“Fuck… Stiles, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He looks at me with fear on his face as I examine my bloodied hand. “Come on, let me treat that.”

I oblige and carefully let him examine my side, seeing as I feel like I’m about to faint from the sight of all the blood and couldn’t do anything on my own right now. He stands up and offers me his (now human) hand and I accidently take it with my bloody one. I feel Derek’s arms catch me before I hit the ground in my last moment of consciousness before I pass out.

When I open my eyes, I’m lying on the bed with a bright light shining down onto my midsection. I squint my eyes to adjust them to the light and groggily look down at Derek applying rubbing alcohol to his claw marks.

“Derek… what happened?”

He replies without looking up from his work. 

“I lost my control and hurt you Stiles… I got so worked up about whoever was here that I shifted and clawed you. I’m so sorry.”

His voice is almost a whisper and I see tears forming in his eyes. 

“Derek, it’s okay. Seriously, it was my fault for getting so close to you during a shift. It’s not your fault…”

I see his bottom lip start to quiver as his hands begin to shake. I reach down and hold his hands in mine, steadying them as I ignore the jolt of pain in my side. 

“Derek…”

He slips his hands from mine and goes back to his work on my hip. I stroke his face with my hand, trying to rid him of the worry plastered across it. He reaches behind my leg for something and I lean my head back on the pillow as he gingerly applies butterfly bandages across each puncture and covers the area with some gauze. As soon as he’s done I sit up and grab his face. My hip starts throbbing but I don’t care.

“Derek, look at me.”

He shifts his eyes into mine and I pull him forward, connecting our lips before he can say anything. I hold him there while he starts kissing me back way more tenderly than I thought was possible for him. The pain is gone as he wraps his arms around my midsection to take it himself and I pull him backwards on to the bed, rolling onto my uninjured side and wrapping myself up into his chest and arms. I lace my fingers through his.

“This. Is. Not. Your. Fault.” I accentuate each word with a kiss on his lips. “I. Love. You.”

He runs a hand through my hair and down my cheek as he places a kiss on my temple. “I love you too Stiles. But I’m so scared… scared I might hurt you. I can’t live with myself if that happens. And it could happen. Very easily.” He squeezes me tighter and I accidently gasp. Shit.

He’s off of me in a second and sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. Real fucking smooth Stiles.

Derek looks back at me with nothing but anger on his face. Anger at himself, at the Alphas, at whoever was in the loft. His eyes flash red as he gets up and walks out of the room, shutting the door behind him as I lay in the bed confused and upset.

I sit up slowly to avoid a head rush and walk over to the bathroom while I go over what I’m going to say to him in my head. I turn on the light and examine myself in the mirror, gasping when I peel the gauze off slightly and see the actual damage he inflicted on my side. 

Five angry, inch-long gashes decorate the area right over my hipbone but directly under my waist. I trace a finger above one and wince at the residual pain burning in my skin from the puncture underneath. Blood slowly starts seeping out again as I reapply the bandage and gently pull one of Derek’s shirts on.

After pausing by the bed to collect myself, I walk over to the bedroom door and open it, preparing to talk him out of his mental state when I see him sniffing everything in the living room piece by piece, searching for the unfamiliar scent of the intruder.

I let out a small laugh at how funny he looks. I should be used to all things lycanthropic by now, but seeing a grown man sniffing around a room is still pretty funny. I lean against the wall and watch as he walks from wall to wall, attempting to follow the path of a scent through the room.

He stops as he reaches the edge of the couch nearest to the bedroom and myself. I see him rip off the top cushion and hold it to his nose, no doubt trying to get a better smell before he suddenly drops it to the floor and looks right at me. 

“Stiles. Run. NOW.”

His eyes start glowing red as I watch his claws begin to elongate and dig into the couch as he tries to restrain himself from shifting.

“What’s happening? Why are you shifting?!”

He looks over and I watch his canines inch their way over his bottom lip. 

“Get… to Scott… now…”

“But-“

“GO!”

He lets out a loud growl as his transformation completes and I run out the door and to my Jeep, smacking my head on the door before getting in and driving 30 miles over the speed limit until I pull into Scott’s driveway. I try and pull out my spare key to his house but my hands are shaking too much, so I just start knocking until finally Scott opens the door.

“Stiles, what the hell! It’s 3:46 in the morni-”

He stops when he sees the look on my face, the way I’m shaking.

“What happened?!”

I wait until we get into his room to explain and Isaac joins us from the guest bedroom down the hall.

“Someone came in the loft… red eyes… left before I realized it wasn’t Derek…” I pant as I try and tell them what happened as quickly as possible. “Derek was checking the apartment for the scent…” I stop and take a few deep breaths to try and rein in my emotions before panic can take over. “He picked up a pillow and sniffed hard into it, but then he dropped it and told me to run and find you…. as he started to shift.” 

I pause and rub my hands up and down my arms, feeling goosebumps at the memory of the way he had said it. I had never heard him be that serious before towards me. Ever. “What the hell happened to him?”

I look up at them for an answer, but they aren’t looking at me anymore. They’re looking directly behind me, at Scott’s window with a look of fear on their faces. I turn around slowly and look at the two glowing red eyes staring at me through the window, all traces of Derek’s human side gone from this animal that pulls back his fist and punches through the glass.

********************************************

“Scott, Isaac, don’t hurt him!”

I feel my eyes watering as I watch the two younger betas practically break Derek’s arms while trying to subdue him on Scott’s floor. He’s snapping his teeth at them, violently thrashing his body in an attempt to break free from their grasps. I feel myself beginning to shake as Scott wraps his arms around Derek’s neck, putting him in an improvised sleeper hold. Isaac wraps his free arm over Scott’s, and together they hold on while Derek’s movements slow down and his eyes begin to close from the decreased blood flow to his brain. 

“You’re killing him!” I’m frantic now, reaching over Isaac to try and pry Scott’s arms off of the Alpha. Isaac sweeps his arm out, knocking me to the ground as Derek finally passes out. I let out a loud gasp as I land on my injured side, feeling a thick warmth spread up my side as my earlier injuries re-open and start bleeding heavily under the bandages. 

I sit up slowly, working a hand under my shirt to hold pressure on the wet bandage while I watch Scott wrap the chains I had bought for his second full moon around Derek’s unconscious form. He had shifted back to his human form in Scott’s grasp and I crawl over to him, stroking his relaxed face and resting his head on my lap while Scott finished. 

I look up at Scott, trying not to project the extent of my emotions on my face. 

“Why… Why did he do that?”

Scott shook his head. “I don’t know, Stiles.” He shifts his gaze to Isaac, who I just now realized was staring at my side with a concerning facial expression I couldn’t recognize. I quickly shift so that my affected side is out of sight and go back to running my fingers though the stiff lines of his stubble.

“Maybe…” Scott looks down at Derek questioningly for a few moments before he shifts back on his heels decisively. He squats in front of me and leans down over Derek until their noses are practically touching and deeply inhales.

Scott’s eyes flash an intense shade of yellow, much brighter than their usual wolfed-out color. He jumps back quickly and anchors himself to the floor across my room, deeply breathing and clutching my rug as his eyes slowly shift back to their deep coffee color.

“Stiles… you said he shifted after he sniffed the cushion?” He kept panting through his words, still attempting to calm himself down as I looked back at him with a mix of confusion and concern etched on my face.

“Yeah… what about it?”

He looks at Derek’s face, then back up at mine with trepidation.

“They must have dosed it with something when they were in the loft. Something strong enough to completely overtake Derek like that. I smelled some of it on his face… It made me want to rip out your throat.” He shudders before continuing. “They must have known he would follow the scent around as it got stronger, leading him right to the pillow. They wanted him to kill you.”

I feel my eyes widen as I look down at the soft, gentle face under my fingertips, unable to grasp the concept of Derek causing me any harm anymore. He used to threaten it all the time, but for weeks now he becomes distraught over anything as small as a bruise if he inflicts it. Fear begins welling up in my stomach. Not for myself, but for this beautiful man in my lap when he wakes up and finds out what he tried to do. What he almost succeeded in doing. He’s never going to forgive himself.

The thought of what he will feel is causing me to feel actual physical pain. It slams into the inside of my ribcage like a sledgehammer, and I lean down to hold him tight as if that would actually alleviate the pain. It only gets worse as I feel the room start to spin, a cold feeling beginning to spread up my extremities and into my torso.

The thudding in my chest starts to weaken as the cold draws closer and my hearing starts to mute. I’m only vaguely aware of Scott yelling my name as I loosen my grip on Derek and look into his burning red eyes, attempting to move backwards and dislodge his claws from their inhabitance in my ribcage. 

My vision starts to go black around the edges as I stare into his eyes, watching the red pigment slowly dissipate into the vibrant sea-foam green I’m used to as he retracts his claws sharply and gasps as he realizes what’s happening under his hands. I fall onto my side as his weight is lifted from my legs and listen to the muted screaming as I reach my hands out to grasp at strong arms before the darkness overtakes my vision and the cold reaches my heart.

Derek-

The inside of Scott’s room begins to come into focus at the same time I feel a constricting weight pressing down on my body. More accurately, on my claws. I look up and see eyes watching me… cinnamon eyes, half-closed as if the weight of keeping them open was too much to handle. A copper scent reaches my nose as warm, sticky blood flows around my fingers and down my arms.

No. 

I retract my claws and attempt to catch a breath, but I feel like all of the air has vacated my body. Stiles slumps to the ground just as Scott yanks me off of his legs and throws my chained-up body against the wall. I break out of them in seconds, running over to the boy bleeding on the ground just as he closes his eyes with the last of his effort. 

I don’t hear anything except for the faint trudging of his heartbeat, slowing with every pump of warm blood leaving his body. My hands are on his wounds, trying to staunch the flow as tears start freely flowing down my face. I feel arms around my shoulders, trying to yank me off again, but I don’t budge. A voice starts penetrating the fog, getting louder and louder as I become aware of Scott screaming in my ear.

“He’s dying Derek, do something!”

I had never discussed this with Stiles before. Never even broached the subject. I had no clue what he wanted in this situation, because I refused to believe anything like this could ever happen to him. I was supposed to protect him, and I failed.

I didn’t hesitate a second before sinking my elongated teeth into his exposed chest muscle, sending the infection into his barely-functional veins.

Everything in the room feels like it stops as I withdraw my teeth from his flesh. Scott and Isaac are staring at the bite too, wishing and waiting for the bloody punctures to begin stitching themselves up again as I keep pressure on the wounds I inflicted. 

Nothing happens. 

“Scott… call 911… NOW.”

I listen to Stiles heartbeat as Scott fumbles with his unlock screen, listening for any sign that the bite it taking.

Thump. Thump.

Thump. Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

Thud.

And silence.

I can’t move. 

I can’t breathe.

The room is completely quiet. Isaac and Scott are motionless beside me as well, unable to process the scene in front of them. In front of us.

Stiles is laying on his back, his head rolled to the side and his arms splayed out beside him, lifeless. The dark moles on his pale skin are shocking in their contrast to the usual pigment of Stiles’ complexion. The punctures in his ribcage have stopped flowing, now down to a trickle of blood slowly dripping out. 

The absence of a fourth heartbeat in the bedroom is deafening to my sensitive ears.

I’m only vaguely aware that I’m screaming as I lean down over his body, grabbing on to the fabric of his unbuttoned flannel and burying my face in his chest while the other two betas grab each other and begin to cry. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This was never supposed to happen.

I thought that maybe, just maybe for once something could go right in my life. Stiles loved me and I betrayed him. 

I killed him. 

Warm tears begin flowing down my face as I hold his body close, my face brushing against his wet chest and resting against the soft ridges of the ineffective bite. Something tickles my face but I’m too distraught to care. Only the tickle won’t stop against my cheek. I reach up a hand to brush it off, becoming entirely motionless when I feel the source of the movement.

I lift my head slowly, my eyes millimeter by millimeter working their way down to Stiles’ chest. 

To the bite that has begun healing.

“Scott… Isaac…” My voice wavers as I watch his chest, mesmerized at the way his punctures are slowly beginning to weave together at the edges. “Please tell me that I’m not seeing things.”

I feel a hand on each shoulder as they steady themselves to look over me, down at the body lying on the ground slowly repairing itself. I don’t need their confirmation though. Over top of the three heartbeats in the room, I hear a fourth faint heartbeat begin to move again, getting stronger with every pump of life-sustaining blood being reproduced at an accelerated rate and pushed through his veins.

“Help me get him onto the bed.” My mind is working a mile a minute as the three of us carefully pick up Stiles’ body and place him on the bed, watching him with awe as each individual puncture slowly closed up and his skin turned pink again with the reintroduction of blood into his system.

I reach a hand down and interlace my fingers with his, pulling away my vision only temporarily to look at Scott. “Call Deaton.”

Stiles-

“I couldn’t believe it, Deaton. He was dead.”

“The body is an extraordinary thing Scott. The sheer will to survive can have just as much healing power as powerful medications.”

“When do you think he’ll wake up?”

The hushed voices swirl far away in the blackness. I try and make a sound, but nothing comes out in the thick fog surrounding me.

“Hopefully soon. He will when his body is ready.”

The voices get quieter and disappear as sleep overtakes my body again.

********************************************

The darkness is dissipating, becoming replaced by a dull amber glow. As my vision becomes sharper I realize that it’s the light shining through my eyelids. Slowly, I let my lids drift open and attempt to take in my surroundings.

I recognize the room that I’m in instantly. I’ve spent enough time in Scott’s room to have every inch of the thing memorized. 

I hear voices again, hushed tones whispering… Downstairs?

My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of tire wheels, crunching over loose asphalt. I whip my head to look outside on the street, but there are no cars to be seen. Where is that coming from?

I answer my own question as I see a car pull onto a street, three streets away. I hear a faint crunch as the wheel rolls over a piece of green glass on the left side of the road.

How can I even see that? My body stills in sudden realization as I hear footsteps crossing through the kitchen downstairs. 

I hold my hands in front of my face, watching as my fingernails slowly begin lengthening into thick, grainy claws.

Scott is in the room in seconds at my scream, grabbing my clawed hands as he sits on the side of the bed.

“Stiles, calm down. Just breathe. I promise you, it’s gonna be okay.”

I can’t stop my body from shivering as he wraps an arm around me, trying to ground me from spiraling into a massive panic attack. I start taking deep breaths, mostly out of fear at what I might do if I lose control.

“How did it happen…” My voice is quaking as I listen to the steady thump of his heartbeat, trying to calm myself down through the rhythmic beating.

He pauses before answering, giving me a look of half sadness, half something I couldn’t recognize. “You died, Stiles. Right in front of me. So Derek…” He looks down at our hands, taking a deep breath. “Derek had to bite you. To save you.”

At the mention of Derek’s name, all of the memories rush back. Earlier at the club, the intruder in the loft, Derek sniffing the pillow and shifting… 

Derek punching through the window… 

Derek clawing me in the chest…

I reach my hands up to my ribs, searching for the open wounds that should have been there but only feeling soft, warm skin under my fingertips. Scott looks at me with such apprehension, no doubt fearing my reaction to the memories. 

“So… The bite took. I’m a werewolf.”

He relaxes his gaze slightly at my statement. “Yeah dude.”

“Where’s Derek?”

Another pause. “We don’t know.”

I stare at him incredulously. “What do you mean you don’t know?”

“He left as soon as he knew you were going to make it. We haven’t seen him since.” Scott looks down at the comforter, tracing the patterns of the stiches with his finger. “He’s broken. He blames himself for everything. I could sense his emotions as he was leaving, and I have never seen him that low.”

I’m almost too afraid to ask my next question. “How long have I been out?”

He answers almost too quietly for me to hear, even with my new abilities. “Five days.”

It’s only then that I notice the IV sticking in my arm and the unbelievable hunger wracking my body. I push aside thoughts of myself just as quickly as they arrive to focus on the only thing important to me right now. “I have to find him.”

Before Scott can say anything I rip the IV out, throw the comforter off and leap through the window in search of any trace of Derek, terror making itself blatantly obvious in my mind as I fear what condition I might find him in.

Everything is a blur beside me as I run, faster than I ever have before through the woods. Trees rush by in swatches of green and brown, tinted red by the shade of color placed over my vision. I can hear Scott yelling, all the way back at his house. I hear the deer eating a hundred yards away. I hear cars rushing by on the highway, miles from where I am. I hear everything.

“DEREK!”

I stop running immediately. The voice that just came from my throat isn’t mine. It’s ferocious, a growl of a predator- not the sound of a pale, skinny human. It’s the sound of absolute, undeniable power.

Maybe I should test this out. I feel air rushing in my chest as I inhale, my lungs inflating to the point of bursting before I release an earth-shattering howl into the deep forest.

After the sound stops ringing through the woods, I cock my head to the right and listen. The reply comes almost a full minute later, a weak, mournful howl far to the left. I would recognize that howl anywhere.

The world is blurring again as I run, following the echoes of Derek’s response through the preserve and up to the riverbank. Which is where I see him, sitting in the mud, head in his hands… shaking.

I stand by the edge of the forest and watch him for a few moments, observing the dirt on his clothes, under his fingernails, in his hair. My blood is all over his shirt and pants. He’s obviously been out here for days, not even going home to change. I take a hesitant step forward.

“Derek.” My voice is softer now, not quite as soft as how it used to be but not nearly as intense as it had been before. He doesn’t move but I can hear his breath hitch as I take another step.

“Derek, look at me. Please.” I’ve walked all the way up to the riverbank, standing directly behind him before squatting down to rest on the backs of my calves. He hasn’t moved, hasn’t taken a breath since I called out his name. I slowly reach a hand forward and place it on his shoulder, which is when he finally looks up at me. I can’t help but let out a gasp.

His eyes are completely red, not just in the irises but also the whites. There’s dried blood all over his face, my blood, with small clear lines snaking their way down to his chin from his tears. But the most shocking thing is the look of absolute emptiness in his eyes. He looks as if someone literally took away his soul and left him just a walking shell. 

Before I can even think I’m holding him in my arms, squeezing tighter than I have ever been able to as I stroke his hair with one hand and his back with the other. His arms don’t move, just stay limply at his sides while I hug him with complete assurance. Only he’s still not moving, at all, besides his breathing.

I hold him away from my face, just slightly, before I realize just how empty he really is. If werewolves can be in shock, then Derek’s currently being electrocuted. I pick him up around the waist so he’s standing beside me, still unable to move or look around. I pull his arm around my shoulder and start the long, slow walk back to Scott’s, calling Deaton on the way.

********************************************

It’s almost evening before I finally walk Derek up the steps to Scott’s house. Before I even have a chance to knock the door is flung open, and Derek’s weight is suddenly lifted from my side by the hands of three able-bodied werewolves as I sink to my knees on the floor and pass out from exhaustion.

When I wake up again it’s dark, but surprisingly I can see everything around me with sort of an amber glow. Oh right, werewolf powers. I reach to stretch out my arm when it bumps something on the bed beside me. A growl reverberates low in my throat, defensive instincts kicking in before I realize that I’m safe and at Scott’s. I shift my eyes beside me to the sleeping body of a now-clean Derek, wearing only a pair of my boxers and one of Scott’s larger shirts. 

“Once you got him home, we cleaned him off and got him into the bed beside you. Deaton said that he was in a psychotic state from the lack of sleep these last five days.”

I look up at Scott, sitting beside the bed on Derek’s side. He shifted before looking directly into my eyes to continue speaking.

“Deaton also found evidence that he had been hurting himself. Ripping gashes down his arms, clawing himself wherever he could. The skin was healed but the underneath was still mending. He’s safe now Stiles, thanks to you.”

I look over the perfect body lying next to me, taking in every bump and ridge on his beautiful creamy skin. The fact that he had tried to hurt himself is unthinkable to me. Wrapping my arms around him, I pull him into my chest and inhale his musky scent, a mix of woods and ginger that fills my lungs like a drug. My drug.

“What’s he gonna be like when he wakes up?”

Scott glances over to the door where I notice Deaton has been standing for a few moments now. 

“Once he sleeps off the state he’s in, he’s most likely going to revert to his original state of mind from after your accident. Guilt, terror, hatred at himself. Although seeing you alert and breathing may calm the intensity of these feelings somewhat.”

Shit. This isn’t going to be easy. My body shifts slightly as I feel him move beneath my arms, listen to his heartbeat begin to accelerate. I have to be quick.

“How long were we both out?”

“About a day.”

“Does he know where he is?”

“Maybe. We can’t know for sure.”

“Is he going to get violent?”

Deaton pauses. “Maybe.”

Hot breath blows across my cheek as Derek wakes up, opening his eyes and looking straight into mine for only a second before he completely breaks down and starts to cry.

“Stiles… You need to go.” His words conflict with his body though, because he’s holding my face in his hands like he’s afraid that if he lets go, I’ll be gone. 

“I’m not going anywhere Derek. I still love you. This wasn’t your fault.”

His hands drop to my shoulders as he pushes me up and off of him, gently but firmly enough to get the job done. “This was my fault. I lost control and killed you. I KILLED you, Stiles. You were dead. I can’t…” 

He can’t finish his sentence through the emotion catching in his throat. I lean down slowly and place a soft kiss on his lips. He doesn’t move, doesn’t kiss me back at all. I feel hands on my face, pushing me off before I feel his body weight leave the bed. 

“I’m so sorry for everything Stiles. I love you so much. But I can’t do this anymore. I told you that I hurt everyone I love. Everyone.”

I open my mouth to respond but I’m too late, my words choking off in my throat as the door slams and Derek leaves, taking half of me with him.

********************************************

It’s been a week since Derek walked out of my life. I’ve tried calling him once a day, to see if he’ll finally talk to me, but the calls always go straight to voicemail. The only reason that I’m not out looking to talk to him in person is because I know for a fact that he’s safe in the loft with Cora. She moved back in a few days ago, I’m assuming to give him support.

I slow my run down, keeping up a light jog as I exit the forest and start down the road to my house. Rain starts to fall but things like that don’t concern me anymore. Things that would have made me sick for weeks now only last for a few hours before my over-driven immune system destroys the source of the illness. Adapting to the newfound abilities I have has been surprisingly easy, seeing as I’ve spent so much time being around and researching every possible thing about werewolves. 

I close my eyes, reveling at the feeling of the cold rain on my heated skin as I take the last street before reaching my house. I’ve come to appreciate a lot more of the little stuff since I pretty much died and everything. I open my eyes just before reaching for the door handle and stop when I see the box sitting on the patio and smell the scent of the person who delivered it.

I reach down and tear off the top, needing to see what was inside more than caring about ruining the careful handwritten address of the older werewolf. I pull out a small pile of my clothes first, followed by my toothbrush, a few of my DVD’s that I had kept at the loft, and an assortment of other things I had been keeping over at Derek’s. I stop when I see the small stuffed animal sitting at the bottom… the all-black wolf I had gotten him as a joke present that wasn’t actually a joke to me. 

The red sheath begins to cover my vision as I open the door and throw my stuff inside, holding only the wolf as I shut the door and get in my jeep to drive to his loft.

I almost crash three times before I pull into the parking lot, anger and sadness exploding in my heart as I jump up the stairs three at a time and yank open the loft door.

I inhale deeply, getting hit with the strong scent before listening for heartbeats. I can hear only one, coming from the bedroom. I stalk over and slam open the door, looking right into those sea-foam eyes as I walk over and punch him across the face.

“You do NOT get to do this to me Derek! This relationship works two GODDAMN WAYS!”

He struggles to get up as I walk over and grab him by his shirt, lifting him with my newfound strength until we’re eye to eye. “You don’t get to kill me twice.”

The look on his face says everything as I drop him to his feet and walk out of the room towards the big window. I hear his footsteps approaching, but I don’t move to face him.

“I can’t hurt you again.” His voice is a whisper, broken too much to even shout back. “I’ll kill myself if I do.”

I spin to face him, anger building up in me again. “The fucking hell you will. Because if you die, I die. And what about the Alpha that broke in and dosed your pillow to make you attack me, huh?! I’m sure it has plenty of other ways of killing me without using you as an option. What happens if you’re not there and it attacks again?”

He looks me in the eyes, although it’s obvious that’s the last place he wants to look. “You’re gonna get hurt again if you’re with me. You have better chances without me.”

“I’m going to die without you.”

Without looking at his face, I throw the wolf stuffed animal on the ground at his feet and brush past his helpless body, running out of the loft and into the darkness of the evening.

********************************************

Three weeks later

“Stiles, come on, you have to get up eventually.”

I roll onto my stomach, shoving my head deeper into my pillow. “NO.”

“Don’t make me do this to you man…”

I look up to question him about what he means when suddenly my whole head and chest is doused in freezing cold water. I’m gonna kill that fucker. I let out a deep growl before leaping off my bed, chasing Scott down the stairs and around the living room until finally he slips and I can tackle him. I put him in a steady chokehold and wait for him to tap out before I let go and walk up the stairs to get ready for school, which was starting back up today.

I pick out one of the shirts Derek had gotten me, back before everything horrible had happened. If I inhale deeply enough I can still smell a trace of his scent in the fabric, which helps a little bit with the daily pain of not being with him. 

School is horrible. First days always suck, between finding your classes and sitting through obnoxious icebreaker questionnaires, but being able to hear every person’s breathing, heartbeat, pen clicks, voices, taps… It was driving me insane. 

When the bell finally rang to signal my free period, which is (thank GOD) at the end of the day this year, I bolted out of the school doors and ran straight to my Jeep. Who needs grumpy werewolf boyfriends when I have such a beautiful baby waiting for me every day… 

My mind is elsewhere, thinking about Derek and caves and club bathrooms, when I’m suddenly feeling air rushing by my body as I’m catapulted from my Jeep and slammed into the pavement. 

********************************************

There’s no light. I feel my body being dragged, feel the twigs and rocks dig into my back as someone pulls me by my feet through the forest. But everything is still dark, my vision not yet returned from the massive concussion I must have. The feelings of the forest beneath me begin to fade as I slip back into unconsciousness.

********************************************

I open my eyes to what looks to be a cellar. The only light is shining in from two small windows behind me, barely peeking from above ground level. 

In the middle of the room appears to be a huge cage, with a dark wooden table beside it and two sets of broken handcuffs attached to the top. Holy shit, this has to be where Kate was holding Derek hostage back in his beta days. I let out a loud, unmanly yelp as a jolt of electricity rushes through my body and keeps me weak. 

This is not fucking okay.

My attempts to detach myself from the leg irons currently holding me to the floor are interrupted as the huge door in front of me slowly opens, revealing a tall man in sunglasses. Holding a walking stick. With red eyes showing through the tinted lenses.

Deucalion.

Ennis follows closely behind him, Kali and the Wondertwins keeping a close third. 

“So, you’re done waiting around to kill me? Because I was starting to wonder if you actually had the doggy balls to follow through on your little murder attempt.”

I’m on my back with a large boot pressed against my neck in seconds. Ennis. 

“Wow, you know what they say about werewolves with big feet buddy-“ He chokes out the rest of my sentence with the heel of his foot. Black spots start appearing across my vision as my blood struggles to push through to my brain.

“Ennis, enough.” The calm accented words of the head Alpha flow through the room as the pressure on my neck is lifted. I cough, trying to refill my lungs with air as the pounding in my head keeps me from thinking.

“Stiles. I always admired you, did you know that? Your audacity and courage to face monsters like us, monsters that could kill you with simply one finger, is a highly respectable trait in my eyes.”

I choke back a cough. “In your eyes? You’re pretty witty yourself there Dukey-boy.”

He smiles slightly before continuing. “Your character alone makes me upset that I’m going to have to kill you.”

I feel some of the color drain from my face as I try and inscribe confidence into my words. ”Well, you don’t have to you know. Free will and all.”

His smile widens as I feel Kali swing a strong pole at my head from the side, ushering me back into blatant unconsciousness. 

Derek- 

“What do you mean, you haven’t seen him in two days?!”

I feel my eyes glow red as I listen to Scott’s response over the phone.

“He didn’t show up at my house afterschool Monday like he said he would, then he wasn’t at school yesterday. And he’s not at school today… I tried calling his cell like twenty times already but it keeps sending me straight to voicemail!”

“Scott. He’s been missing for two days. And he has a stalker werewolf Alpha out there RIGHT NOW, who has already tried to kill him once. AND YOU’RE JUST NOW CALLING ME.”

Rage and fear bubble up in my chest, threatening to let the wolf escape and take over my actions. “I’m going to look for him. NOW.” 

I hang up the phone and take a few deep breaths, attempting to rein in my emotions so I can think straight but it’s too difficult. Stiles is missing, he has been for days, and I haven’t done anything to try and help him.

Images of a pale and bloody Stiles flash through my brain as my breathing picks up and my claws extend into the flesh of my palms. It’s my fault. I didn’t protect him, and now he could be…. Dead. He could be dead.

With that, my wolf takes over my body completely, and I let it as we run to Stiles’ house.

********************************************

There’s no trace of Stiles in the house. His scent is faded, at least three days old from what I can tell. Something catches my eye to the right, on his dresser. In large red streaks, the mutated triskele of the Alpha pack covers the wood across the top. 

The coppery smell of blood registers in my brain just as I see it. Not just any blood… Stiles’ blood. 

I’m bordering on insanity as I leap out of the window. Instinct takes over as I follow the scent of warm cinnamon and coffee through the streets, stopping just outside of the far edge of the preserve. Tire marks are evident on the ground; small pieces of glass have been crushed into the concrete. The scent only gets stronger as I push into the woods, only going about 100 yards before I feel the ground under my knees and hands, vomit fighting its way out of my mouth and into the soil. 

The familiar blue Jeep lay on its side in between two large trees, the front window shattered in an eerie body-shape in front of the driver’s side. Blood is everywhere. In between the shards and cracks of the windshield, spread over the hood, on the headlights. 

Heat splays throughout my body, starting in my chest and ending at the tips of my extremities before pushing back into my chest. My vision is bright red as I force myself to stand up and walk closer to the Jeep. I take a deep breath before inspecting it, not to calm down but because I realize that I haven’t been breathing the past minute. There, on the front seat is another blood-stained message.

You will find him where fire met air and screams live in the walls. If you hurry.

To anyone else, the directions would have seemed completely random and unfindable. 

To me, they’re a map into my nightmares.

I start running again, headed in the direction of the cellar beneath my house that granted my uncle life and me a whole different kind of death.

Stiles-

When I wake up again, it’s beginning to get dark outside my little windows. My stomach emits a loud growl right before a shock penetrates my side and floods my nervous system. This needs to be over, now. I try and wriggle my body so that the patch disconnects from my hip, but I let out a small gasp when I feel the painful tug inside my muscle.

Apparently, they screwed it in. Bastards.

Just as I was attempting another escape the large door slides open, Deucalion tap-tapping his way in with a large tray of something in his hands. My mind goes to the worst possible outcomes before I realize it’s just a tray of food. He sits next to me, holding a sandwich half to my face to attempt to get me to eat. 

I spit on his hand before he dropped it back on the plate and gave me another one of his creepishly charming grins.

“Stiles, I’m only trying to make this easier on you. You shouldn’t have to die hungry.”

If only looks could kill. I glare at him before remembering that he can’t actually see the faces I’m making.

“I shouldn’t have to die at all.”

At that, he slips his sunglasses off and places them on the tray, looking at a point just past my face before continuing. 

“I know. It’s not fair to you really, but it’s what must happen. We want Derek in our pack, and you are a distraction to him. He will never come with us willingly if you are here, tying him down. He needs to feel the anguish and helplessness of seeing you die before he will beg for the power of our pack. It will be the only way for him to survive when you’re dead.”

I involuntarily shudder at his last few words. “Your plan isn’t going to work.”

He tilts his head to the side, as If trying to listen to something far away. “And why is that, young one?”

“Because if I die, he won’t hesitate before killing himself. He won’t stick around long enough to join.” A small tear rolls down my cheek, my heart breaking at the thought of what Derek would do to himself if I died. Remembering what he did to himself in the woods while I was still alive. 

He nods, as if confirming something to himself. “Well, we’re about to find out if he will or not. He’s here.”

A loud howl suddenly echoes through the trees, tapering off as it vibrates through the glass of the windows. Goosebumps run down my arms as I hear all of the emotions rolled up into it.

“Derek…” I whisper before a massive string of electricity shoots into my body, getting stronger and stronger as my cells begin to fail from the voltage.

Derek-

An earth-shattering scream resonated out of the grate in front of me, causing my heart to drop into my stomach.

“Stiles!” I grab the grate with one hand and pull, ripping it from its hinges before barreling down the corridor and into the room where I was trapped through days of torture from Kate Argent. I freeze instantly, trying to take in the scene in front of me. 

Stiles is on the ground, his body being wracked with spasms as his eyes roll back into his head. Kali has her foot hovering over his neck, toes ready to dig in and slash his throat at a moment’s notice. Deucalion is standing next to them, holding the top of his walking stick with both hands.

Arms grab me from behind, shoving me into the room and closing the door behind us. I count seven heartbeats. Everyone is here.

“Stop it… Stop it please…” I barely recognize the shattered voice that escapes my lips as I fall to my knees by his side. I reach over to the wires, my body being thrown back at the force of the currents before I had a chance to remove them. My whole body is buzzing as I watch Stiles, pleading as I watch his life begin to slip away with every volt of electricity that singes his nerves and slows his heart.

“Deucalion STOP! Please! I’ll do anything… I’ll join your pack, I’ll leave with you, just let him go. Please.” My voice is a whisper by the end of my plea. I look up at him, eyes flashing red as he begins to speak.

“It’s too late for that Derek. You’ll never actually join us willingly, I can see that now. There’s only one way to secure your position in the pack.”

He nods to Ennis, who turns the voltage down on Stiles just as his breathing had slowed down to the point of stopping. He lets out a huge gasp as he sucks in air, coughing and twitching as the leftover electricity leaves his system. Deucalion suddenly drops his walking stick and pulls off his glasses, handing the latter to Kali before bending down besides Stiles’ body.

“You give me no choice Derek.”

His hand raises and begins its descent towards Stiles’ neck. I let out a growl louder than any I had ever released before throwing my body over Stiles’, Deucalion’s claws unable to finish their journey as they slash through my chest and into my heart instead.

Stiles-

Derek’s unmoving body lay on the floor next to me. His eyes are open and blank, burning holes into my soul hotter than the electricity that had just been scorching my cells. Blood trickles from his chest and mouth as I lean over his face and place a gentle kiss on his forehead, feeling my body shake as I rip out the electrical patch from deep in my muscle and slowly stand up to face the five stunned Alphas.

The pain in my chest is unbelievable as I speak.

“You’re all dead.”

As if on cue, the pained howls of the four betas outside and the loud crunch of tires over leaves becomes evident to my hearing. The others hear it too, I can tell from the way they all tense up, preparing for what they know is coming. Scents begin wafting through the door as my best friends make their way down the hallway and into the room: Scott. Isaac. Cora. Peter. Allison. Lydia. Mr. Argent. Deaton.

They all freeze when they see Derek, only taking a moment though before encircling the Alphas with pure animalistic rage in their gold and blue and even human eyes. Tears are rushing down some of their faces, uncontainable as their features begin to shift. Allison and her father draw their weapons as the werewolves all finish their transformations. 

No one speaks. There’s only single a moment of silence before I charge at Deucalion, roaring as the room around me turns to chaos. 

My claws make purchase in the flesh of Deucalion’s arm, catching him in his shock and ripping deep gorges down his forearm before I’m swiping my other hand across his face. Rage propels me as I go, ripping at him wherever I can find unguarded spots. He catches both of my hands in his only seconds into my attack, snapping them backwards with his wrists until I hear bones cracking and muscle ripping in half.

I let out a strangled yell, trying to hold myself up as black creeps around the edges of my vision from the pain. Regaining my equilibrium, I lunge forward and sink my teeth into the unprotected arteries in his neck before he can release my hands. He only dictates a small groan as the injuries heal almost immediately, sealing up as if they were never inflicted. 

I see Scott out the corner of my eye, arms around Kali’s neck and steadily twisting as Ennis claws at his stomach from the side. Isaac is behind him, taking on one of the twins in a vicious wrestling match while Allison and Mr. Argent’s arrows pierce into the chest of the other in almost tandem duo. My vision is blocked suddenly as Deucalion charges at me, eyes glowing bright red as he wraps his arms around my neck and begins pulling from behind until I feel my vertebrae starting to pop. The howls, snarls and shouts around me begin to fade as he continues pulling, blocking blood flow and stretching nerves and cartilage to the point of breaking. 

I close my eyes as I claw at his arms, attempting to free myself even though I know I’m fighting a losing battle. But I can’t seem to make myself care. I’ve lost too much to care about my own life anymore.

I open my eyes to see the familiar body on the floor, pale and still in the midst of all the fighting and bodies being thrown around. He’s like the eye of the storm; the calm center to a turbulent hurricane. 

I reach my arms out and whisper his name, resigning to my fate as my legs go numb and my eyes close.

I’ll see you soon, Sourwolf.

********************************************

Bright light floods my vision. It’s not uncomfortable though; in fact it’s the warmest, most relaxing light I’ve ever seen. I sit up slowly, gasping when I realize that I feel absolutely no pain, no tearing of muscle and nerves. The white light is everywhere. Shining from the ground I’m lying on, beaming out from my clothes, beaming out from Derek’s clothes.

Derek’s clothes.

I shout and run to him, feeling his warm and sturdy arms wrap around me as I let out all of my emotions into his chest. His hand runs through my hair as I squeeze him, tears dripping down my face and into his white shirt.

“Derek…. I, I… I love you so much. So fucking much. You can’t leave me again.”

My head tilts up as he reaches a hand under my chin, looking into my soul with his beautiful green gaze before pulling me into an earth-stopping kiss. Our lips move in perfect synchronization with each other, intensely deepening the kiss with every moment that passes.

When he finally pulls away for air, I gasp and stare into his eyes. They’re shining bright gold, brighter than the eyes of any beta I had ever seen.

“Derek, your eyes.” My voice is a whisper as I bring my fingers up to his face, tracing the small wrinkles on the outside of his eyebrows. He stares back at me with the same intensity that I’m portraying at him.

“Your eyes too, Stiles. They’re breathtaking.” I instinctively pull a hand back to my own face, but he grabs it, pulling it up to his mouth before kissing my fingers and placing his forehead against mine.

It seems almost criminal when he breaks the silent reverence we’re sharing, but the sound of his voice is a whole kind of forgiveness of its own.

“Stiles… you have to go back.”

I look up at him, nothing but love in my eyes as I reply. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

He sighs, bringing his lips to my cheek before speaking again. “You have a life, Stiles. People who love you. You shouldn’t be here.” 

I open my mouth to counter when a voice intercedes from our left. “Neither of you should be here.”

I turn my head quickly, recognizing the voice instantly even after 8 years. “Mom!”

She’s standing a room’s length away, next to a beautiful woman with long, dark hair and olive skin. I move immediately, running over to her and embracing her as I bury my nose in her hair and watch as Derek and his mother meet each other halfway, both in tears.

“Mom, I’ve missed you so much. Me and Dad both.” My voice is muffled by her hair, but she still understands every word I say in a way only a mother can. 

“Stiles, baby, I miss you too. Both of you, every single day. I would do anything to be back with you, but it’s not your time yet sweetheart.” She rubs her thumb through the short hairs at the nape of my neck. “You have so much more to do. So much more love to give.”

At that, we both glance over at Derek who is having a similar conversation with Talia. He’s holding her in almost the exact same way I’m holding my mother, save for the fact that she’s literally off the ground in his embrace. 

“He loves you so much Stiles. And I see how much you love him.” She kisses me on the cheek before continuing. “But baby, you can’t stay here. Neither of you can. Your stories aren’t even close to being over.”

She wipes a tear off my face as I pull her tighter. “But Mom, I can’t leave you. Not again.”

Her smile radiates straight into my heart. “You never left me, baby. Never.” Taking my hand, she leads me over to Derek and Talia. Derek is crying, hand clasping hers as she backs up to address me.

“Stiles, I can never thank you enough for taking care of my baby when I couldn’t. Never. You are family to me. You are pack.” She pulls me in, hugging me tightly before placing Derek’s hand in mine. “We don’t have much time now. Just know that Claudia and I will always love the two of you. We will always be with you.” She plants a kiss on Derek’s cheek as Mom pulls me in and kisses my forehead.

Mom speaks up next. “Derek, you are already like a son to me. You make my son happier than I’ve ever seen him, and I owe you everything for that. No matter what you two ever go through, just never forget the love that you have for each other.” She smiles and squeezes both of our hands as tears run down all of our faces. “Stiles, I love you so much.”

Talia echoes her. “I love you baby boy. Now both of you, it’s time to go.”

“Give your father my love.”

I take Derek’s hand in mine again and squeeze, fighting off tears and looking into his beautiful golden eyes as everything goes black.

********************************************

Light floods my vision and my chest burns as I gasp for air, pulling my body up into a sitting position as I ride out the waves of pain coursing through my chest. I hear a similar sound through the thudding in my ears coming from my right, a deep rattling inhale of long-needed oxygen filling Derek’s lungs as we both turn and stare at each other.

The only thing I’m able to notice before people start rushing in the small entrance to the exam room is the tattered and bloody shirt stretching across a lean, muscular, fully healed torso. Our hands instinctually reach out for each other as our friends pile in the room, yelling and crying and hugging, but I only hear Derek’s smooth voice floating across the space between cold metal tables and enthusiastic pack members.

“You look so much like her.”

I give him a smile that could melt gold.

“She is so beautiful. Just like you.”

He squeezes my hand at my words, something shining in his eyes that I had never seen before in him.

Peace.

I mentally whisper my thanks to Talia, assuming that she had spoken to him about the fire and finally abolished him of his long-standing guilt. It didn’t take a genius to figure that one out; he looks more relaxed and happy than I’ve ever seen him.

Then again, I’m sure I’m mirroring his expressions exactly.

I run my thumb across his knuckles gently before dropping his hand, finally allowing myself to pay attention to my surroundings. Scott is squeezing me in a supernaturally-strong embrace, Allison and Lydia both have hands on my shoulder, and Deaton is shining a penlight in my eyes, attempting to see past the flare of my reflective retinas. 

Derek is being embraced by Cora, HARD, while Peter is staring at him from behind, trying (and failing) to hide the actual emotions of happiness from flitting across his face. Isaac has his hands on Derek’s lower thigh, holding on as if he were afraid to ever let go again. 

It takes a few minutes of the loving affection, but finally I’m able to speak.

“What happened after… after…” I find that I can’t finish the sentence, not because of the memory of my death itself but mainly because it seemed almost unthinkable to imply that it was a bad thing when it led to… well, what it led to.

Deaton is the first to speak up. “After Deucalion broke your back and neck and severed your spinal cord, you fell to the floor and your heart stopped beating. I didn’t know what had happened until all of the wolves suddenly stopped and stared at you.”

Scott speaks up next, his voice cracking slightly as he elaborates. “It was deafening, Stiles. It felt like the room temperature dropped ten degrees.” He buries his face into my shoulder as Allison rubbed his and my back simultaneously before piping up.

“Even the humans could feel it, Stiles. You and Derek, lying side by side like you were on the floor… It actually made the Alphas pause too for a brief second. But that was all we needed. Scott rushed Deucalion, and fought him while my father and I took out Aiden and Kali.” She pauses a moment, taking a deep breath to lower her steadily increasing heart rate. “He held him still just long enough for Peter to rip his head off.”

With that, I snap my head over to Peter at the same exact time Derek does. I open my mouth to speak but Derek beats me to it. “So you’re an Alpha again?” I can hear something in his voice, not fear exactly… more like understandably intense trepidation. 

Peter only chuckles as he pats Derek on the shoulder. “Unfortunately for me, my whole ‘use a banshee/human girl to raise me from the dead’ campaign prevented me from gaining any of his power.” I can hear, rather than see Lydia shudder slightly at his words. Peter shot her a seemingly-sincere apologetic look before continuing. “Apparently one of the side effects of being a were-zombie is that I’ll never gain back more power than I was given in my re-birth.” He allows his eyes to flash blue, reiterating the fact that he’s still a beta.

Derek and I both audibly sigh with relief. It’s not that Peter hasn’t actually been proving himself to us all time and time again, because he has. It’s just that… well, it’s Peter. Some things are just too difficult to overlook.

“So what happened after the fight?”

Deaton finished his check-up on Derek before turning around, poising his lips in a straight line and grimacing slightly. “We all came over to you two as Chris took it upon himself to dispose of the other bodies. I checked for pulses.” Deaton looks behind me, and I turn my head to see Chris Argent standing in the doorway, curtly nodding his head at Deaton. “Scott picked you up, Stiles, while Isaac lifted Derek. They walked you two all the way here. They didn’t even let us drive them.”

I give Scott’s hand a small squeeze on my shoulder and smile at him warmly. His return smile is as goofy as ever, but the sadness I can see in his eyes behind the plastered up-curve of his lips sobers me immediately.

“They brought you in here. Your hearts never restarted…” Even Deaton has to take a breath now to steady his emotions. Huh. “Scott and Cora had just finished their goodbyes and walked back into the waiting room when we heard you both wake up. It was… shocking, to say the least. You had been dead for so long.”

“You always had a flair for the dramatic, little nephew.” Peter punches Derek on the shoulder, albeit much lighter than he usually would have. His smile drooped though, something in his eyes shifting before he suddenly wrapped Derek up into an extremely uncharacteristic hug. “You scared the shit out of me.”

More hugs ensued on both sides of the room at Peter’s confession, and surprisingly even Mr. Argent gave me a strong squeeze from the side. The hug-fest was much shorter than the last interlude though, because everyone suddenly turned their questions to me about my kidnapping and their other ones to Derek about how he found me.

Emotions swelled up in me as I remember watching the way Deucalion’s claws slashed through Derek’s chest and heart like butter. I do my best to choke out answers, but it’s getting difficult to breathe under all the memories. Before I know it I’m pulled up into Derek’s lap, and his fingers are running through my hair in a very soothing manner.

Scott, God bless his little puppy ass, began shuffling everyone out of the room to give us privacy while Derek whispered reassurances into my ear. I only speak up after I hear everyone leave the clinic and gather in the parking lot to talk amongst themselves.

“I miss her already, Derek. So much.”

His lips press gently against my ear, whispering softly so only I can hear. “I know. I miss my mother too.”

My heart twists painfully as I wrap my arms around his neck, leaning in and burying my face deeper into his neck. “I’m so glad though. So glad I got to see her again; glad I got to meet your mother… Glad my mother met you. She already loves you, you know.”

His lips curl up against my ear, a small chuckle escaping his lips before his breath tickled my cheek again. “My mom considers you part of her pack. I think she loves you more than I do.”

I give him a little shove at that, genuinely grinning when he smiles and presses his soft lips against mine and moves. His tongue gently swipes across my lower lip, slowly parting my mouth until his tongue sweeps gently across the tip of mine. 

Before I know what’s happening I’m being pulled over his lap, straddling his hips over the table as he clutches me against his chest like a lifeline. There’s nothing sexual about our position, only absolute security and understanding and love that’s burning like a fire in my heart as I tuck his head into my chest, deeply inhaling the woodsy scent of his skin as he keeps me pinned to him.

“I am so deeply, deeply in fucking love with you Stiles. And I’m so sorry for all of the shit that I’ve put you through this last month. I should have been there… I should have protected you-“

I do the only thing I can think of to get him to stop talking, to stop apologizing for something already so long ago forgiven. 

The kiss is excruciating, simply for the fact that I knew it would have to stop eventually and it honestly hurt to think of my lips separating from his at any point in the near future. But all too soon it’s over, and Derek gently pulls away before the rest of my pack streams back into the room to laugh and cry and talk some more.

My pack. I look around at each of them individually: Isaac, with an arm around Cora’s shoulder as he stood in front of me talking. Cora, pretending to hate the contact but betraying herself with the blush slowly creeping into her cheeks. Allison, swinging her legs over the table where she sat next to me, listening to something Peter was saying as Scott rested between her legs. Scott, absentmindedly rubbing both mine and Allison’s shins while trying to tone down the huge grin shining on his face. Lydia, deep in conversation with Mr. Argent about something, taking a moment to wink at me and smile one of the most genuine smiles I had ever seen from her beautiful face. Deaton, still checking me and Derek out to try and make sense of what happened. And even Peter, holding up the conversation in such a non-creepy and engaging way that I decide I need to rethink my reservations on forgiving him.

And finally Derek. Derek, the man I couldn’t be crazier about. The only person who could truly match me sarcastic remark to sarcastic remark, wit to wit, heart to heart. The man who died for me, who put up with me, who loves me in ways no one else ever would. 

I can’t stop staring into his eyes, remembering how they looked with the gold shining so intensely in our own personal heaven. He is so beautiful, an actual smile plastered across his face as he stares back at me. 

As he wraps his arms tighter around me, I feel a warm breath of air brushing over my neck as he lets out a content hum into my skin.

“I’m never leaving you again, Stiles. I swear. I love you.”

And with that, I just know things are going to be okay.

********************************************

Seven Years Later-

“Derek, look at her. She’s… She’s perfect.”

I can’t keep the crack of emotions out of my voice as I hold our baby girl in the hospital, once a place that meant only death to me but now a place that holds everything I love. A tear slides down his face as I hand her over gently, careful not to wake her as I lay her in his sturdy arms. 

“I think we should name her Claudia.”

My breath hitches as he says those words, indescribable emotions welling up in my chest as I clutch him to me, sandwiching our perfect baby girl in between our bodies.

“Claudia Laura Hale.”

He snaps his head up to look at me, his eyes barely containing the tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.

I lean down and kiss her on the forehead before pressing my lips to Derek’s, giving him his emotional release as hot tears drift on to my cheeks from his own. 

“No one will ever love her more, Stiles.”

“No one,” I agree.

********************************************

“Stiles… Stiles, she sneezed again. This is the fourth time this hour.”

“Derek, she’s a human baby. Babies sneeze.”

“Yeah, but she feels warm. Does she feel warm to you?”

“You have skin that rests steadily at 102 degrees. In the winter. Of course she’s gonna feel warm, you haven’t let her down in hours.”

“But sh-“

“Ah ah! No but’s! She has a cold, not the plague. She will be FINE.”

“achoo!”

“Stilessss.”

“You’re adorable when you’re overprotective, you know that?”

“Adorable my ass.”

“Yes, yes it is.”

“STILES.”

“Grumpy butt.”

********************************************

“Derek, you can’t rip his throat out because he stood her up for prom. And trust me, I want to hunt him down as bad as you do. But we can’t.”

Derek sighs from beside me, Claudia’s sleeping body curled up in his arms, still in her dress.

“Can you at least arrest him?”

“Maybe an overnight stay in a cell… I’ll see if I can get anything on him.”

He grunts, planting a soft kiss on her temple as he wipes a tear from her face.

“Fine. But if you can’t find anything, I’m at least going to chase him full-wolf.”

I snicker slightly at the image. “Yeah, fine. As long as you record it for her to watch.”

He smiles down at her. “She’d definitely like that.”

“Takes after your sick sense of humor, after all.”

He playfully flicks my ear at the fake insult and gets up to take her to her room as I stare after them with nothing but absolute fondness and admiration spilling out from my heart.

********************************************

“Come on baby, you got this, PUSH!”

Goddamn, she can squeeze hard for a human. 

I take as much pain away as I can from one side while Derek does the same with her other hand, and in four more minutes I’m staring into the green eyes of our first grandson.

Derek leans down and gives Claudia a kiss on the cheek as Talia holds the baby to the side for a moment.  
“You did so good, sweetheart.”

She looks up at us both and grins with all of her teeth.

“Yeah, I did, didn’t I?”

Hell yeah you did, is all I can think when it’s finally my turn to hold baby Scott.

********************************************

Many Years Later-

“Derek?”

I softly squeeze the wrinkled hand in mine, looking into the clear green eyes of my soul mate lying next to me in bed. His eyes keep flashing red, a last ditch (failing) effort of his wolf to heal his body of the demons of old age.

His reply is weaker than it had been an hour ago, but then again I suppose mine is too.

“Stiles.” It’s barely a whisper, pressing out of his throat with most of the energy he has left.

Hands are putting slight pressure all down my body. Claudia clutches my other hand gingerly, while Talia and John hold on to Derek. 

I tilt my head slightly, looking back at my three children and their children and even one of Claudia’s grandchildren. They look up at me, eyes wide and scared, as I turn back and look at Derek. 

His breathing has become uneven, shallow and raspy in the dim evening sunlight. “Derek, it’s almost time.”

I hear a few of the children let out cries and sobs at my words, but all I can feel is an overwhelming sense of peace.

“Stiles… she’s gonna kick your ass… for getting me into so much trouble… you know that right?” 

I let out a weak chuckle, feeling heavy and sleepy as my heart begins to slow. “She’ll roll out the welcome wagon… and you know it…”

I manage a weak smile at our children before my eyes begin to close, lidding halfway down as I squeeze his hands again.

“Derek?”

“I know, Stiles.”

I give him the best grin I can before I close my eyes and allow my heart to stop beating.

********************************************

“Hello, baby. Glad you finally made it.”

“Yeah, took you long enough kiddo. But damn, thank you for giving us some cute grandkids.”

Derek’s young, firm hand squeezes mine in support from my left. Slowly, I open my eyes and let the white light and familiar faces in front of me flood my vision as I take a step forward, breathing in the scents of mother and father and husband and pack long since passed away and home.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! This was my first fic I ever wrote, so please excuse the shakiness of the beginning. It was originally split into chapters, but I decided to combine to make life easier. I have a tumblr if anyone is interested- I literally just got it like two weeks ago so it's nothing fancy, but I reblog funny TW things and post my little thoughts on things about the show. Sterek-centric. I take prompts! carodevss.
> 
> Also, Comments and Kudos make me fall in love with you. Just kidding.
> 
> But seriously, not kidding. 
> 
> New Sterek fic in the works, so stay tuned!
> 
> Also, anyone willing to beta? And on a flip note, anyone need a beta?


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